Truths Learned from Les Miserables

This weekend I watched Les Mis for the first time in over two years. I was reminded of how much I just absolutely LOVE this musical. I grew up knowing the music, and when there were holes to the plot that the songs didn't cover, my mom would clarify plot points. So, when I watched the movie in theaters, I knew exactly what I was in for. I knew I would be watching a story riddled with darkness, misery, hopelessness. I mean it's called The Miserables! It's a story of woe! But that's why I love the music: there was beauty found in the woe, and even a little bit of light. When I watched the movie, I realized that despite the darkness, there is MUCH more light to be found than I realized. There are great truths to be learned from this beautiful story.

• At the end of the day, there is always hope. You can ALWAYS have hope for tomorrow. In that depressing song "At the End of the Day" there are just a couple lines that break out of that darkness - if you pay attention to the chord progression, you will notice it easier. The words say, "At the end of day there's another day dawning..." No matter what your situation is, you can have that attitude. There will always be a bother day. Today might have been a failure. But there is always going to be a new day, a new moment, a new opportunity. Don't get bogged down.

• Age and size doesn't matter. Gavroche, this incredible little boy, at one point says, "It only goes to show what little people can do!" He discovers secrets, shows courage and bravery, doesn't back down from a fight, is brilliant, and faces the enemy head on. Look at the scriptures; how many heroes are there that started young? David; Samuel; Nephi; Mormon; Moroni. Age doesn't mean a thing. Anyone an everyone can do great things, even the youth. Don't hold back!!

• You are not your past. Marius was this pretty little rich boy. Yet, he believed int he people's rights. He forsook what he had and fought for what he believed in. Jean Valjean changed into a great man, full of love, and kindness. He left poverty and petty theft, a life often hard to escape, and didn't let his past define him. Cosette had lived in misery for the first years of her life, yet she found joy in her new life. I'm sure those years before were vivid in her mind - how traumatic they  must have been! - yet, she didn't let the misery of her past bog her down. You don't have to be defined by who you WERE, by your past circumstances, by your past deeds. After all...there's another day dawning!

• We should live like there is one day more. The powerful song "One Day More" is all about the live changing events that were to happen the next day.  As it turns out...many of those expectations were shattered...but the principle is to be found in their attitude of "One day more"! Granted, there really was just one day before the life changing moment...but what if we held that attitude always? The attitude that tomorrow was going to change your life. Wouldn't it cause you to live your life to the fullest? To set high goals, with the hope that you could reach it?  To give yourself any and all opportunity to HAVE life changing moments Truly, each day can be life changing. Even the smallest decisions determine our destiny. How much more would we be aware of that if we lived as if it was just one day more?

• Love redeems This is one of my favorites, and I feel is the point of the entire story. And, the principle is taught in its entirety at the very end, though there is shades of it throughout the entire story. It's summed up in Jean Valjean's line, "To love another person is to see the face of God."
• Fantine. She loved Cosette more than anything. She ended up selling herself, her body, for the sake of providing for Cosette. She only did it because she had absolutely no idea what else to turn to. Yet, at the end, you see her return to bring Valjean hom with God. How was she there? Her love for Cosette redeemed her.
• Eponine. She was raised by the vilest of people. She did vile things with them. But, then, she falls in love with Marius. She risks her life for him, and in the end, loses her life because of her love for him. Yet, in that finale song, as they all sing, essentially about being in heaven with God, she is there. How, with all of those horrible things she had done? Because, in the end, she learned to love someone more than herself more than the greed and guile that had filled her life before. Her love for Marius redeemed her.
• And then...of course, Jean Valjean. Now, he was never a BAD man. He was imprisoned for stealing a loaf of bread. But those 19 years enslaved turned him angry and bitter. He turned to thievery. He was given a chance to change his life, and he took it and began to change. The change took full effect when he met Cosette and raised her as his own. His love for Cosette completed the change on his hardened, embittered heart, and redeemed his soul. He, in the end, was taken to God, to see the face of God, because he loved another person. As we love others, we change and we are able to be redeemed. What more do you need to know if life, that as we love those around us, we make it possible to return to love with God? I mean, charity was the defining characteristic of the Savior. IT was the root of everything that He did. To love another person is to see the face of God.

So...pretty much...I just super love Les Miserables. It's on my bucket list to read the unabridged book when I have time...and the attention span. It reminds me to find the light in the darkest of times. Because there is ALWAYS light to be found. There is always hope. And, there is always, always love to be found. 

The tempest is raging

Sometimes I feel like my life is just storming up. Like I'm in the middle of this huge storm, and I'm on this tiny little boat, and I'm completely helpless.

Every since coming home from my mission, I feel like it's been a huge series of storms. From being sick WAY more often than I ever have before, from figuring out my role in life right now, to coming to terms with no longer being on a mission, to just...handling life. So. Many. Storms. I'm sure pretty much everyone can relate.

My favorite hymn in the LDS hymnbook is "Master, the Tempest is Raging." Here are the words to the first verse:

Master the tempest is raging! 
The billows are tossing high!
The sky is o'reshadowed with blackness,
No shelter nor help is nigh.
Carest thou not that we perish?
How canst thou lie asleep
When each moment so madly is threat'ning
A grave in the angry deep?

(Chorus)
The winds and the waves shall obey thy will:
Peace be still;
Whether the wrath of the storm-tossed sea
Or demons or men or whatever may be
No waters can swallow the ship where lies
The master of ocean and earth and skies!
The all shall sweetly obey thy will,
Peace be still.

I was reminded of this song the week as I read Mark 4:37-41. Christ is with His apostles. They're still kinda new to the whole deal, having just been called to follow Christ, but they have witnessed many miracles by this time. They're on this little tiny boat, and the storm is threatening to sink or capsize them. And where to they find Christ, their master? Sleeping. They wake Him up, totally freaking out, and He's just like, "C'mon guys, chill out!" And turns to the raging storm and says, "Peace, be still," And it immediate calms. And then, of course, the apostles freak out all over again, because they just saw someone calm a crazy storm. Which is kinda silly, because they literally asked Him to do something about it. Christ's response is, "How is it that ye have no faith?"

Now, I don't believe Christ is saying they have NO faith. I mean, they had enough faith to ask Him to help out. They trusted Him. But, they lacked faith in the sense that they were surprised when He actually did it. They had seen Him perform miracles, many many times, just that day, actually! Yet, when it was a miracle for them, they were shocked that it actually happened - even though they knew He had the power.

Here is the next verse of the hymn:

Master with anguish of spirit
I bow in my grief today.
The depths of my sad heart are troubled,
Oh waken and save, I pray!
Torrents of sin and of anguish
Sweep o'er my sinking soul
And I perish! I perish! Dear Master
Oh hasten and take control!

I can't tell you how many times in the past almost 6 month since I've been home when this has been my prayer. Where I feel like my soul, my heart, my mind is sinking, and I just need Him to take control, because what I'm doing isn't doing the trick. When I do cry out to Him, He always responds, and He always calms the terrible tempests. I hope that as He has done so - and will continue to do - He hasn't ever had to say, "How is it that ye have no faith?"

If we have faith in Christ, we are never going to be surprised when He answers our call. We are going to expect Him to do something - not in the sense that we feel entitled, but that we know He will do something! Because we have that much trust in Him! And it doesn't mean He will take away whatever trial we are facing, but He will take away the storm. We can always trust in that.

Here is the last verse of the hymn:

Master, the terror is over,
The elements sweetly rest.
Earth's sun in the calm lake is mirrored
And heaven's within my breast.
Linger, O blessed Redeemer! 
Leave me alone no more
And with joy I shall make the blessed harbor
And rest on the blissful shore.

I wish I had words to express the feelings of my heart right now. Despite how frustrated I've been from some of the backsliding I've experienced from my mission, there is one thing I gained from my mission that I have not faltered in: trusting in the Lord and His grace. With all the many trials I've faced lately, and am currently facing, I trust in my Master. I know He will calm those storms. And, without fail, I am overcome by great love, comfort and peace. I don't ever have to be shocked or surprised at the miracles He sends me, because He ALWAYS sends them. And He always will. Not just for me, but He will for you, as well.

There is a tempest raging for you, just as there is for me. So...just cry out. He will calm them for you.

Go quickly

Friday marked 2 years since I got on that plane and flew to the MTC - the start of my mission. It marked 2 years since I started something that changed the rest of my life; it was the best thing I could have done for my life.

My mission means the world to me, and one of the reasons why it was so hard for me to handle it ending was because I literally was living my dream. A mission was something I had wanted to do every since I was a wee little girl and I discovered girls actually could go on missions. And, the more I learned about the Gospel, the more I yearned to proclaim it to the world. Sometimes, I yearn to put that nametag back on, and do it all over again.

The other day I was reading Matthew 28. It was quite appropriate, with Easter coming up and all. (Happy Easter, friends!) In this particular book in the Bible, this is where Christ is resurrected. When Mary and Mary go to the tomb and find it empty, there are the angels, there to proclaim the good news! As they explain to the two Marys of Christ's resurrection, they say, "And go quickly, and tell his disciples that he is risen from the dead," (vs 7). In verse 10, Christ meets them as they run, and He says, "go tell my brethren, that they go into Galilee, and there they shall see me."

The first direction to these saints, after they understand what Christ has done, is to go and share it. The reason? So that they all can meet with Him.

Again, at the end of the chapter, verses 19-20, Christ commands, "Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost; Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even until the end of the world. Amen."

This pretty much is, like, the ultimate commandment from God. Once you know and understand for yourself, GO TELL PEOPLE!! Because Christ wants to meet with you AND them.

How blessed I am to have had the opportunity to share my testimony of the Savior for 18 months. And how blessed I am to have a testimony that I can still share, regardless of wearing that nametag, or not. There are sacred truths out there that need to be said, that need to be a daily part of our lives.

This is what I have been thinking about this Easter season. Do you know that Christ has risen from the tomb, that He lives for me and you? Do you know that He has broken the bonds of death, so that we can continue living the Father's plan of happiness for eternity, so we can have a fullness of joy? If you do know, I urge you to go and share it! And go quickly!

Greater love

The other day at work, I served a table that had a couple sitting there. This particular couple touched my heart. The woman was in a wheelchair; it looked like she might have MS. She couldn't communicate very well - but whenever I came by, she would respond happily the best she could - and she couldn't really move. This meant that her husband had to feed her. I remember looking back, and seeing him lovingly put a chip into her mouth. It wasn't graceful, it wasn't pretty, but it's something that filled my heart, because it was filled with love. I knew that he would have to do that for the entire meal. This man loved his wife enough to go to a restaurant, so they could spend time with friends, and do something that some might seem undignified. And he did it, willingly and patiently.

On Sundays, there is an elderly couple me and my parents share a pew with. The wife is blind. I love watching them partake of the sacrament. As the tray of bread is passed and it gets to them, he deliberately guides the tray so she can grab a piece of bread, and take one herself. As the tray of water is passed, he will move one of the cups to the corner, so she can grab it - again, he guides the tray - and he is so very careful and precise. Doing everything so she can still do it herself, but still doing SO much. I love watching it, because I feel like it so exemplifies the Savior. That husband is so full of love for his wife, that he does all of that. I'm sure it's such a simple thing to him, but, for anyone who watches and observes, it speaks volumes for his character and his love.

There are several scriptures that speak of giving up your life. There is one that says that there is no greater love than laying down your life for a friend. But...does that necessarily mean dying for your friend? I think it can, definitely! But, that's not all, I believe. Laying down your life can also mean what those two men do for their wives. They lay down their own life for the ones that they love. They are filled with love and concern that they set aside any discomforts or pride or anything, really, that would prevent them from giving such service.

How often do we lay down our lives? Do we stop what we are doing, do we put a pause on our crazy, self-centered lives, and help another individual? I just can't stop thinking about how much love that is! To just STOP and go do something nice for someone you love.

Elder Bednar shared a talk about the character of Christ. He said one of the most defining things about Christ, is that He look outward, instead of inward. No matter what was going on in His life, no matter what He was experiencing, He didn't think about His needs. He focused on those around Him. Even as He was grieving John the Baptist's death, and sought solitude, the multitude found Him, and instead of turning them away like His apostles tried to do, He fed them. He taught them. He stayed with them. He looked outward. He laid down His life. He put His needs and His life on hold. Christ spent His entire life laying down His life. It wasn't just on the cross that He did that. And we can do that to; it doesn't just mean we have to die to show that greater love for someone. We simply have to be willing to STOP, and go do something for someone who needs it.

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. - John 15:13

Happiness is the truth

While I was driving to institute class today, I started thinking about how happy I was at the moment. I was jamming out to good music, I had a good morning, and I was about to be spiritually uplifted in class. My mind drifted to a conversation I recently had with a good friend. She commented on how dark the world was. The world is just filled with darkness. I totally agree with that. But, after she said that, I thought about it and responded with, "Well, yes, but I think we forget how much light and goodness there is out in the world too." And not JUST from the Church, or really, even other Christians. There is GOOD and there is LIGHT to be found out there.

When I got off of my mission, it was my favorite thing ever to discover new songs that were completely unrelated to the Gospel, but were still filled with light. It proved to me that there's a reason why God has placed us in this world. True, we are meant to be IN the world, not OF, but God wouldn't place us somewhere that was absolutely hopeless, that we simply needed to ignore or cut ourselves off from. If that were the case, we'd be commanded to flee from it. If all good was gone, we'd be leaving, just as God commanded His servants to flee Sodom and  Gomorrah. Now, there is a LOT of evil out in the world. Just as bad, if not worse than, Sodom and Gomorrah. But, we are not fleeing, and it is not destroyed yet, because of the strength of the good that there is still out there. For every force of darkness that is out there, the light manages to still outshine it. And it is NOT just coming from the saints.

In institute today, we read Doctrine and Covenants 78:19, which says, "And he who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious...." My teacher asked us why God might tell us to be thankful for all things. Everybody gave deep, long explanations - that made perfect sense. But to me, the answer was so simple: because it makes us happier. If we are thankful ALL the time, the bad things can't bring us down. The way I see this verse, it's not saying that when something horrible and drastic happens, we should be like, "I'm SO thankful this happened!" Instead, it means that we receive it - acknowledged it happened - and then are thankful for what comes of it, or what didn't happen that could have made it worse, or what did happen that kept it from being worse, or the tender mercies we receive in the midst of the trial. We receive the trial with thankfulness, maybe not because of the trial, but because of everything else surrounding it.

You see, we are not surrounded by darkness; the light is surrounding the darkness. It simply depends on where you're looking, and what your perspective is. If you're focusing on the negative and the bad, you'll feel you're surrounded - no matter how filled with light you may be. But, once you acknowledge the bad, but start focusing on all the brilliant light around you, the darkness diminishes. It's still there, for sure, but it has less power.

As one who has experienced many ups and downs over the past 4 months, this was a very precious lesson to learn, because too often I allow myself to be overwhelmed by the negative. But that's so silly, because it's SO much better to just. Be. Happy. Like I was today. :)

Enjoy this song. This is how I felt.:)

Why I love Frozen

I kind of have this slight obsession with Frozen. It started gradually. I was on my mission and heard all this hype. I had even heard "Let it Go" as I was out and about. I didn't quite get why it was deemed so awesome. I was quite skeptical about it all. It was one of the first movies I watched when I got back, and I was like, "Eh. It's pretty cool, I guess."

Then, I watched season 4 of Once Upon a Time - well, the first half - which involved the Frozen characters and, in typical Once Upon a Tim fashion, took lots of liberties with the story. It went beyond the story the movie gives us. I loved it! But, what I loved best was the characterization of Anna and Elsa. And, I watched Frozen again - maybe a couple of times - and again, I just fell in love with the characters. Why? Because the most important thing, both in the movie and in Once Upon a Time was the fact that they were sisters.

The solution to the entire problem of the story was love. Not necessarily romantic, but just love in general. That was how Elsa could control her powers. It was what saved Anna. And, what made it all just absolutely fantastic: what saved Anna was NOT true loves kiss. (Don't worry, this isn't like some feminist rant. I'm not saying Frozen is about how Anna doesn't need a man. Please. Anna and Cristoff = best couple ever. Their awkwardness and charm is absolutely fantastic!) What saved Anna was simply an act of true love. Her act of true love was saving her sister. The best part: she didn't do it to save herself. She did it to save Elsa. There wasn't an ounce of selfish desire. That's how it was in Once Upon a Time. The plot was riddled with acts that Anna and Elsa - and occasionally Cristoff - would do, because of their love for each other.

I think the world needs to be aware of what real love - or true love -  is. Love isn't just a romantic thing. Love is something that makes every relationship sweeter. The love of a family member. The love friend. The love of a church leader. Sometimes even the love of that random person you just met, but you see the kindness in their eyes and in their actions (like that couple who leaves an outrageous tip, all because you were a little bit extra smiley when you were serving them).

So, yeah. I probably could rant and rave for awhile about how much I love how Frozen emphasizes love - and not just romantic love. And how Anna and Elsa are like the best sisters ever. The last time I watched it, I started reflecting on my own family, and how much I love them. It's been really great, being home from my mission and getting to spend time with them. Getting to see them differently than I have before - with eyes that are slightly different, after being a missionary for 18 months. And, truly, I love what I see.

It's super easy to be critical and focus on the negative - it actual is a natural human reaction. There can be 100 positive things that happened, and 1 bad thing, and our brain will naturally focus on the bad. One bad thing can ruin a day, if we let that natural reaction take the lead. It's very easy to do with people as well. I've started putting forth the effort to focus on the good in people, instead of the negative. Something that can be incredibly difficult for me, as I'm prone to crankiness and am accused of being a pessimist (I say realist). And, often the ones we are closest to get the harshest view.We get nit-picky with them.

But, I can tell you, as I've put forth the effort to see the positive in people, I have been overwhelmed with gratitude for my family. I've seen them drop everything to help a sibling out. I've noticed subtle acts of kindness that show the depth of their good character. I've seen generosity. I've seen diligence. I've seen joy. I wish I had enough time (ha, and patience) to get into specifics about each of my siblings and their families. But, lets face it: you wouldn't want to read that ridiculously long blogpost, and I'm not patient enough to write that out. Because that's a lot of people to write about. (I actually started to, and gave up...)

Anyways...that's why I love Frozen. Because I want to be a sister, daughter, aunt, friend, like Anna. Her sister didn't talk to her for YEARS, and she couldn't figure out why. Then, her sister freezes the entire land. Her reaction? "I've got to go talk to her! I've got to help her!" Then, her sister accidentally freezes her heart, pretty much sentences her to death, what is Anna's dying act? (Well, what she thinks is her dying act.) She saves her sister. Anna never holds bitterness or anger for her sister. All she cares about is helping her sister. And I want to be like that!

2015 - Chasing the Sun

Sorry for the blog hiatus. My life randomly got busy, and then I just got out of the habit of blogging, and then...I just didn't. A lot has happened since I last blogged. Utah trip. Washington trip. New boyfriend, which has turned into a long distance relationship (waaaaayyyyy lame that the whole long distance thing happened). Renewed obsession with Sara Bareilles (not too surprising if you know me at all). New calling in church, where I teach Sunday School to 12 and 13 year olds. Yes, I'm a little bit intimidated. And, the new year. 2015 has happened. As always, this causes reflection. I don't think it's a bad thing to be cliche in this aspect. We need to have constant reflection, and I think it's beautiful that everybody reflects at this time.

So, a review of this past year:

• I completed my mission in the beautiful WA-TAC. 
• I learned how to be grateful for the rain.
• I learned a deeper meaning of charity.
• I learned what 1 Corinthians 15:10 was all about.
• I gained understanding of dreams and how dreams are meant to be achieved - and that no dream is too big.
• My life plan changed - again.
• I learned how to say "I love you" to people - in the actual words, and in other ways as well.
• I got this freaking sweet haircut that shocked everyone and their dog, but I have never once regretting it.
• I turned 21! Which, in the world is a huge age. But, since I was on my mission...it just meant a way awesome member made me a way legit cake, and that was pretty much it.
• I've gained just a little bit more perspective in life, in who I am, in those who are around me, in the world, and in who my Heavenly Father is.

I've grown quite a bit in 2014. I'm a fan of 2014. But, there is so much more! 2015 is going to bring so much more. Like school. Like even more mission friends coming home. Like moving out of my parents' house. (I seriously love those peeps. I'm grateful for all they do. But, I will be the first to admit that I automatically slack and backslide when I'm living under their roof.) Like getting to learn and grow more. Like becoming one step closer to fulfilling my dreams.

And, just like every year, I think it is such a good idea to set goals. And, one thing I've learned about myself is that I SUCK at keeping goals if I have no one to account to. If no one else knows my goals, I tend to just...not do them. So, I thought I'd share just a couple of them with y'all.

Physical: I am going to start running in the morning. 5 times a week. I don't like want to run a marathon or anything. I just want to be healthier. And goodness knows my diet is NOT going to change! 

Mental: I am going to attend BYU-I and get straight A's my first semester back to college. No, I don't think that is a crazy goal. I got myself good grades by putting forth minimal effort. This time I'm going to get A's because I actually worked and learned.

Spiritual: I will attend the temple once a week, every week. Even once I go to school. I can't miss out on those blessings. They are too precious to me, and the work done there is too important to not do.

Financial: At the end of the year, I will have money in my bank account; I will have budgeted/saved enough so that I didn't have to live paycheck to paycheck the last couple of months of the year.

Social: I will express my love to someone every single day. I have gotten a lot better at this, but I don't want it to disappear.

Ultimate: BE HAPPY!!!

2015 is set up to be a pretty good year for me. And I'm determined to make this year my happiest year! This year has been filled with some of the greatest joys. But, if I'm living life the way I'm supposed to, as my life continues, my joy will increase. That is our purpose on Earth, after all! It's the Plan of Happiness! "Adam fell that men might be and men are that they might have joy." 2 Nephi 2:25.

As you all think about what you want to do, what you want to become during 2015, remember, it's possible. Reach your dreams. In the beautiful words of Sara Bareilles, "You said remember that life is not meant to be wasted, we can always be chasing the sun! So fill up your lungs and just run, and always be chasing the sun! All we can do is try, and live like we're still alive!"

Go and chase the sun this year, my friends! :)