Born to Fly - 2016

It's not quite the new year, but this just means that, for once in my life, I'm NOT procrastinating. I know, I know, let's not all die of shock, friends. People are allowed to change, right??

I've been doing a lot of thinking about growth and about where I want to go. I've been thinking about this past year and what's happened and what I've been able to accomplish.

• Had a relationship end at the very beginning of the year, which took me much longer to get over than I'd ever like to admit.
• I finally got a grasp on the whole return missionary thing. Again, that took me a lot longer to get used to than I'd ever like to admit. (The beginning of 2015 was a bit rough on me emotionally.)
• I fulfilled a calling as a Sunday School teacher 12 and 13 year olds. I do NOT miss that class, though I definitely miss teaching.
• I finished up my job at Gecko Grill, resolving never to ever work food service again, though very grateful for the people that I met, and the blessing it was to have that job (and the money I earned). 
• I went to California for the first time and fell in love with the beach and the ocean. Like, I still think about the beach all the time and it's been almost 6 months.
• I went on a Utah trip, completely on my own, which may not seem like a big deal, but it made me feel very adult. I planned it all by myself, did all the driving, by myself, and didn't starve, sleep in my car, or die. I adulted successfully!
• I moved up to Idaho for school, terrified out of my mind at the thought of living with 5 strangers, having to find a job, and tacking college after 2 1/2 years of no school.
• I made besties out of those 5 strangers.
• I got a job at an after school program for the junior high in Rexburg, which I LOVE!
• I was called to be the 1st counselor in the Relief Society presidency, which was humbling, but I loved it so much!
• I went swing dancing (once).
• I successfully finished the semester with straight A's.

So 2015. I feel like it was a successful year. I legitimately feel like I am chasing the dreams that I have - or, in the words of Sara Bareilles, I'm chasing the sun. I've been trying to make my life mean something, trying not to waste the time I have here on Earth. I've loved it, especially the past few months. Like I said earlier, the beginning of this year was a little rough on me, especially emotionally. It took me a little while to get back on my feet. I blundered my way through life for a little bit, faking my way through things, But, I got things figured out, and I am ending this year genuinely and incredibly happy. 

So, recap on this past year's goals:

Physical - to run. HAHAHAHAHA yeah that didn't happen. I'm not even sorry about it. Ok, I am a little bit. I mean, I bought decent shoes, so like, that's a bummer.

Mental - straight A's, yo. DONE!

Financial - to have money in my account and to not be forced to live paycheck to paycheck. DONE! (though no promises for next semester...)

Spiritual - Temple every week. Definitely struggled with this. Idaho is cold and the temple is like a 20 minute walk...so I convinced myself to not go multiple times. I AM sorry about this one.

Social - express love in some way every single day. Now, I don't know if I did every day, but I sure did try, and I sure did improve at expressing my love. I'd call this a success.

Ultimate goal: be happy. DONE! Done more than I think I anticipated.

So...what can I do this next year, the year of 2016 to fly even higher? To chase my dreams further? To become even closer to the Beth Ann Root I'm meant to become? That is the question.

So. Goals for 2016.

Physical - We all know I'm not going to go running. And we all know I'm not going to stop eating pizza. But I definitely need to be better at taking care of my body. So...a couple of small steps. I will walk to work at least twice a week. It will probably be way more, but I got kinda lazy this last semester. And, pizza only once a week (not including Totino's pizza. I mean, people say it's not even real pizza, anyway.) And, salads. Beth will eat salads.

Mental - I want to enjoy my school work. I want my classes to be a joy. I know I can make that a thing by giving my classes time - so it doesn't stress me out - and by not complaining. So...I guess the real goal is to complain less. For my mental health.

Financial - Pizza only once a week. And, if I have pizza, then I can't go to Cafe Rio that week. The struggle is real, my friends!

Spiritual - I will write in my journal every single day. 

Social - I will actually leave my apartment at least once a week for something outside of church on Sunday and family home evening to hang out with peeps. Because my apartment has become a safe place and I have ceased to step out of my comfort zone when it comes to socializing. 

Ultimate - Be happier. I want to be happier than I am now. I want to increase in joy. That is the purpose of goals and reflecting on the new year, is it not? To reach new heights of joy?

So, that's Beth Root. That's what I've been, and what I want to do. 

Why do I bother sharing this with you? To brag my accomplishments? (there really aren't that many, so that'd be dumb of me to do.) To just ramble on because I'm bored (well, a little.? 

It's because I want you all to reflect. I want you to think. And then I want you to run after your goals and your dreams. Run hard. Because what's life without a dream to catch? We all have great things to accomplish, no matter where we are in life. I believe that with all my heart and soul! In fact, I believe that each of us were born to fly. It doesn't matter where you are or where you've been. If you start right where you are, you can take off running, and you'll be surprised to find yourself up in the sky, capturing those beautiful, wonderful dreams.

Home

Since September 14th, I've made Rexburg, Idaho my home. I'm not unfamiliar with making other places my home. Flagstaff, Washington, now Rexburg. Mesa and the surrounding valley holds many people that I love dearly, but it's no longer home. I'm okay with that. But...let me tell you why.

This semester has been full of ups and down. At one point I was failing a class (something that has never happened before, and caused me great amounts of stress.). I had spent the previous 10 1/2 months building up my relationship with my family, only to move hundreds of miles away and to feel completely isolated from them. That was really hard to deal with at first. I was surrounded by strangers - it wasn't like going to Flagstaff, where I had my sister, Mesa High peeps, and one of my best friends from high school all around me. I've had my own set of struggles this semesters. Trials of all sorts. But, Heavenly Father gave me the tools to make this place home.

He sent me friends and roommates. People who have put up with my moodiness, sass, sarcasm, awkwardness, my brusque, sometimes harsh behavior and attitude. And they have loved me despite it. They see the good in me. They've supported me as I've shared secrets about myself, my struggles, and insecurities. They've uplifted me out of my funks. They've made me literally fall to the floor in laughter. They've caused me to step out of my comfort zone and stretch a little bit more. Their love has inspired me to be more selfless. Through their example, I have come closer to my Savior.

They have made Rexburg home for me.

From that very first day, I knew there was something special about apartment 106. Then, our first Sunday, we all gathered around to have dinner as roommates, and have never stopped having moments and occasions like that. They made me feel at home.

In my hardest times, when I felt incredible frustration and confusion, my roommates actions and responses echo the words of the beautiful song by Phillip Phillps. "Settle down it'll all be clear. Don't pay no mind to the demons, they fill you with fear. The trouble - it might drag you down, if you're lost you can always be found. Just know you're not alone; 'cause I'm gonna make this place your home."

Rexburg has become home. And it's only because of those blessed people in my life these past few months who have made it so. I had to say goodbye to one of them this afternoon. It was bittersweet, as she will be submitting her papers for a mission soon, so I know the reason why she's not returning is for one of the best of reasons, But bitter because she's helped to make this place home. And it's the same separating with everyone of my roommates. They've helped to create a home for me.

Home is where the heart is. The heart is where the love is. And I've been blessed to feel such immense love this semester. I would be in remiss for not saying so.

Obligatory Thanksgiving post.

It's Thanksgiving again, and just as everyone tends to, my mind has been turning towards what I'm most thankful for. As I look back on my life a year ago, the things I'm grateful for has changed drastically.

A year ago, my mind was still filled with my mission, and I had a hard time looking past that. I was grateful for my mission and for my mission peeps. I was grateful for be helping to teach mission prep (I miss that tons, and wish I could still be teaching it) and I was grateful for my family. There wasn't a whole lot more than that, because I was really discontent with my life. I tried to act differently, but that was the truth.

Now, I'm in a completely different place. I've been striving to apply the principle that President Uchtdorf taught of being grateful in our circumstances, and not for things. And, when we actually are grateful in our circumstances, we find a lot more to be grateful for.

I'm still grateful for my mission. There is absolutely nothing that can change that. That gratitude, love, and passion for my mission and my mission peeps will never go away, will never fade. A piece of my heart will forever be in that land of green and grey.

I'm so incredibly grateful for my family. I miss them TONS, and it's super hard not being with them today. I'm grateful for my relationship with them now. I'm grateful for the incredible things that have happened this year for my family - from two new nieces, to a brother's re-baptism.

I'm grateful for my calling, and how it fills me with love for the wonderful sisters in my relief society and causes me to grow and think outside of myself.

I'm grateful for my job, though sometimes it's super frustrating, it's often a lot of fun, and I've come to love those annoying, bratty kids that I work with.

I'm grateful to be going to school again and to have the opportunity to chase my dreams. I'm grateful for how nicely my classes have worked out this semester, and then for next semester.

There is something that I've become especially grateful for over the past few months. Heavenly Father has placed 5 special blessings into my life to help me out this semester, and hopefully the rest of my life. They are my roommates. Let me tell you a little bit about them and why I'm so grateful for them.

Maren Flake. She has an incredible desire to simply do what's right and nothing more or less. She tries so hard and she loves deeply. She's always super busy, because she's going to school, working, and is engaged, yet she always finds time to do things like study her scriptures and write in her journal. She might fall asleep as she prays...but that's because she works so hard throughout the day, that the minute she relaxes, her body just sleeps. I'm grateful for her example and her righteous desires.

Natalie Nielson. Natalie is one of those people that will quietly go about doing good, and will continue to do good, even if nobody notices or acknowledges. She thinks of others often before herself, and won't dare to say a negative word towards someone. She's happy, diligent, and one of the kindest people I've ever met.

Danielle Jackson. If you met her, you won't very quickly forget her. She is always completely herself, and will never apologize for it, and I think that is an incredible quality. It helps me to remember that I should always be myself, because there's no one else I'd rather be. She's hilarious, loves fun, and loves to play hard - which is awesome, because I love to play hard, too! (When I'm not doing schoolwork...which I feel like is always...)

Emmie Christensen. Emmie probably has one of the purest hearts I've ever met. If there was one characteristic I feel like she embodies, it would be charity. She tries to see the best in people, and once she loves a person, she loves fiercely, and will frankly forgive, because she loves so much. She's super passionate about family history, which is a huge example to me. And she will always, always play games with me.

Dani Kellogg. She's another one who loves deeply. You become friends with Dani, and I feel like you've pretty much just gained a friend for life. She's obedient to the will of the Lord and diligently seeks His will, which inspires me to try to align my will with His more faithfully.

There's so much more I could say about these wonderful girls in my life. I'm so grateful for my Heavenly Father having he foresight to make me wait 10 months to go to BYU-I so I could room with them and to have friends that I don't think I can now live without.

Happy Thanksgiving, friends! Remember what is most important and all the little things in between! And...eat lots of food. :)

God just hears a melody

This video perfectly explains how I have felt this past weekend. The phrase, "I hope ya know I had a hard time," is very similar to the words I was crying to the Lord. Sometimes that's all we can say. We don't have the words to say anything else, so we just say, "This is really hard." Or, "I really need help." Or, "Please send some comfort." There's nothing else that we can say.

When we take the time to say those words, Heavenly Father is so pleased, because many of His children will simply not say anything, and struggle in silence, not asking for help, not even acknowledging Him. All He wants is to help us so that we can be happy.

In the words of the song, "Better than a Hallelujah," which says, "We pour out our miseries, God just hears a melody, beautiful the mess we are, the honest cries of breaking hearts are better than a hallelujah."

Sometimes we think that we ought not bother our Heavenly Father with our lives; but, whenever we pour our hearts out to Him, He sees the beauty in our faith and our hope. He sees the beauty our tears, whether they're silent, loud, seen, or not seen. And He will pour down blessings of comfort - if we are open to receive it. He will comfort us with people, with scriptures, with the Spirit. We simply have to look for it.

After a bit of a rough weekend, I'm grateful Heavenly Father sees the beauty in the disaster that I am and I'm grateful that He answers those prayers of heartbreak and sorrow.

Float On

I've been up in Rexburg for nearly a month, now. It's been a little bit of a roller coaster ride. I went home one weekend for a family event and then last weekend I went down to Utah for a mission reunion. So, my weekends have been pretty insane.

I have a job; I help out at an after school program at a junior high. I help facilitate little class sessions and try to help students to stay on task.

I have a new calling, as the 1st counselor in the Relief Society presidency. Pretty much, I have no clue what I'm doing.

I'm in 5 classes. I feel like the majority of my time is spent doing homework. I'm not used to being in school, since it's been 2 1/2 years since I've done this thing, so the semester started out rough. I had an F in one of my classes last week; it's up to a B now, will A's in all my other classes. But, if any of you know me well, you know that the F was driving me up the wall and caused my self-esteem to take a little hit. (Beth Root doesn't fail ANYTHING!)

I have 5 roommates. So, 6 girls in one apartment. My initial thoughts were, "I'm never going to be in my apartment, because girls are crazy!" and I've never been able to stand crazy girl drama. Don't worry, though, because ALL of my roommates are AMAZING and I love each of them dearly. From the very beginning we all have gotten along and we share our space pretty well, and so far, there hasn't been any crazy girl drama.

Where I'm at in life, I feel a lot of pressure to be social and to create deep and meaningful relationships - especially with those of the opposite gender, if you catch my drift.

On top of everything else, I've been missing my family like crazy, because I just spent the last 10 1/2 month JUST spending time with them. My sister just had a baby that I don't get to hold. My little niece just took her first steps, and I missed them. I don't get hugs from little ones, or get their slimy, sweet little kisses.

Needless to say, there has been A LOT on my mind; a lot of worry, a lot of stress, a lot of wondering what the heck I'm doing.

BUT! There also has been so many blessings. Each time I started feeling overwhelmed, Heavenly Father would swoop in and pour down so many blessings. My roommates have become my best friends up here. I got my job because of a friend, and it came at the most opportune time. My calling has already filled me with great amounts of love, and I'm so excited for serving the sisters. I'm starting to get on top of homework - and even getting ahead of things, so life is a little less stressful! I was blessed with an unexpected scholarship, which allows me to save more money than I thought I was going to be able to.

In reality, despite all of these things pressing up against me, things that, a few years before, would have probably given me mini panic attacks on a regular basis, because of the amount of stress, I am So. Happy. Life is good! I have numbered only a few of the blessings that I have received. And the blessings I have mentioned, I can't even express how deeply they mean to me.

My first couple of weeks, when I still was feeling incredibly stressed, Heavenly Father frequently reminded me that it all was going to work out. And more than work out, it would be for my good. It would be alright, it would be good, it would be beautiful.

Life is so much more enjoyable when, despite the hardships and horrible bumpy patches, we simply focus on what we've learned or what good happened because of it. Sometimes, when life becomes overwhelming, we have to stop fighting against it, and float on - we have to let Heavenly Father carry us where He wants us, and then we can get back up on our feet, having learned something beautiful and we'll have the strength to move on - and the strength to let Him carry us again, when the time comes for that.

So, just don't worry; we'll all float on, alright.

One last weekend

This is a song that I super love. I love it because it talks about seeing the good in life. Every day really can be a good day!

As I think about this past weekend, I feel like this song describes it perfectly. It pretty much was the best weekend I could ask for, especially since this is my last weekend before heading up to Idaho.

There has been a lot on my mind in regards to this move up to Idaho. One, I haven't done school for a long time. There is a lot I don't remember. Plus, thanks to transferring, I'm pretty much back to square one in my degree progress. Two, I need a job. I've been super fortunate with my previous jobs; they were pretty much handed to me. I know that it will all work out. Heavenly Father wants me in Idaho, so He'll take care of me, but it's still a little worry in the back of my head. Three, roommates. I've spent the last 10 1/2 months in my own room, not having to interact with people unless I chose to. I'm going to be living with 5 girls that I know very little about. I'm excited about it, but also nervous because what it they're crazy? What if I  am the crazy one?! What if they don't like sharing? But what if they're super awesome and we all become super tight besties? Who knows?! It makes me anxious.

Four. This is the big one. When I was preparing to come home from my mission, I had many conversations with Heavenly Father. I didn't want to go home. I wanted to stay for another 6 months. I would have done literally anything to have stayed. I asked Him why I needed to go home. His answer? For my family. I was going home for my family. He didn't get any more specific for that. So, I have spent the last almost 11 months with my family. Helping when I can; movie nights; baby sitting; trying in all the ways I can to express my love. And, guys, I'm heart broken. I've worked so hard to create this bond with my siblings that I'm dreading leaving. I rarely was homesick when I was in Flagstaff. And if I did get homesick, I lived 2 1/2 hours away. Not a big deal. On my mission, the only times I really yearned to be with family was when a new baby was born or when my grandpa died. I've always loved my family, but I've also been pretty chill with being away from them, for the most part. But now? When I'm bored, I go to a siblings house. To cheer myself up, I go visit nieces and nephews. I willingly submit myself to chaos. Why would Heavenly Father tell me that I needed to go home for my family only to have me leave 11 months later, except now I'm just super sad. THAT'S been on my mind.

So, I wanted to clear my mind this weekend. I wanted to stop the anxiety, I wanted to have fun, and I wanted to be able to arrive in Idaho with confidence. Heavenly Father is good to me, and provided what I needed.

Friday night, a mission friend flew in from Utah and another mission friend and I went to pick her up and then we all went over to another mission friend's home where we slept over. We then spent Saturday temple hopping and in the evening drove to Snowflake for yet another mission friend and her wedding reception. Sunday we separated so I could go to my own ward but then drove back to Phoenix that night to spend the night with them. Today, the one from Utah went back home and I finished up the last of my college shopping and then spent the evening in the midst of my chaotic family as one last hurrah for me before I leave.

The two friends I spent the most time with have been home for barely a month, so they still have a lot of that missionary enthusiasm for all things spiritual and Gospel related. Through the vicious Phase 10 games, the long hours in the car, the late nights (or early mornings, whatever you want to call it), and the ridiculous amount of discussion about boys, there was a special spirit that managed to remain the entire time. It gave me incredible clarity.

For the first time in a long while I allowed myself time to actually hold a conversation with the Lord, instead of me giving a list of demands and getting frustrated at the lack of revelation in my life.

For the first time in a long while, when I looked inward and saw my weaknesses and flaws, instead of  getting frustrated and discouraged by the struggles, I turned to Heavenly Father and said, "Alright, how can we fix this?" and received clear counsel.

For the first time in a long while, I was able to accept gentle chastisement - which may or may not have even been given unintentionally - and I felt that true godly sorrow, instead of just a small twinge of guilt at maybe not being as good as I could, which allowed me to have a sweet experience during the sacrament.

For the first time in a long while, I felt similar to how I felt when I was a missionary - even though there was not one moment of proselyting, knocking doors, walking up to random strangers and trying to introduce the Gospel to them, or wearing my treasured nametag.

And then the perfect ending to this long weekend? At my family gathering, my mom had the brilliant idea to have everyone "golden chair" me. It's an old family tradition we stopped doing a long time ago; when it was someones birthday, we'd all have to say something nice about the birthday kid. My mom thought that since I'm leaving, everyone needed to say something nice about me. As expected, everyone made a fuss, since we haven't done it in years, and because I'm pretty sure the last 3 times we revived the golden chair, it was for me too (youngest child perks). But, they stopped fussing and said nice things.

Now, if anyone knows my family, they will know that we express love, not by compliments, but by snarky, sarcastic comments. So, flat out kind words often make me feel super uncomfortable (words of affirmation. Not my strength). Luckily, most of my siblings prefaced their kind words with love-filled sarcasm. The best part of it? For the first time in 11 months, I felt like I had succeeded in doing more than just go to work. Heavenly Father had told me that I needed to go home because of my family. Do I know the reason why any better than I did 11 months ago? Not really. But, that's fine, because my family knows that I love them. They each acknowledged it in their own way in whatever they said to me. These past 11 months haven't been just a waste of time, while I've been waiting to go to school and move on with the rest of my life.

So, now, I feel ready. I'm a lot less anxious. I'm a lot more sure. I'm a lot more excited. I'm a lot more prepared, spiritually. Bring it on, Idaho! Nothing is going to stop me from me from making these beautiful days into a beautiful semester!

Amazing Grace

I've been home for nearly 10 months, now. I still think an awful lot about my mission. I'm pretty sure my peeps at work roll their eyes whenever I mention it, now. I'm pretty sure the sister missionaries in my ward are tired of hearing about my mission, while they're creating precious memories of their own missions. I'm pretty sure everyone is tired of me referring to either before my mission or after my mission. I don't know how else to measure time...haha!

Tuesday was another transfer day in the WA-TAC. Which means that yesterday some WA-TAC missionaries came home. A few of those peeps mean a lot to me, and it's gotten me thinking a lot about the people I served with and the lessons I learned.

I want to preface anything else I'm going to say with the statement, "By the grace of God." My mission's song was "Amazing Grace," arrangement by James Koerts. We sang it ALL the time, and it laid the foundation for my entire mission. Grace was the theme of my life for 18 months, and I hope for the rest of my life.

By the grace of God, I served with incredible people.
By the grace of God I was able to learn crucial lessons.
By the grace of God I saw people change.
By the grace of God I saw myself change.

Anyways, what spurred this blogpost were the ponderings of two specific missionaries who came home. Now, I don't often do posts on specific people - words of affirmation, NOT my strong point. I tend to feel awkward doing it, and I automatically assume that the other person feels awkward, which makes me feel more awkward, and then it's just a big mess of awkwardness. But, sometimes I get ideas in my head and I decide to run with it and I just try to not think too much about it, because then I'll feel awkward and never finish whatever it is. So this is me, not thinking to much and just doing.

First person: the wonderful Sister Brewster.

I was Brewster's second companion, her follow-up trainer. I had never follow-up trained, I had never trained. In fact, most of my companions had been out longer than me. I was nervous. But, I started working with her, and I was impressed by this greenie who would be bold, would invite everyone, and who wouldn't complain when I suggested that we knock doors outside of 5-7's.

Our companionship was a little bit rough, due to my personality being very different from hers. I'm a listener. I can listen to a person talk for days. In fact, I LOVED listening to my companions talk about their lives. What I sucked at was talking. The companion I had before Brewster could talk for hours on end. Half the time, I didn't even need to ask a question; if I did, I just needed to ask one, and she'd go off. It pretty much was the best. I was so used to that, that I kinda sucked at talking with Brewster. She liked to talk, I liked to listen, but she actually wanted me to talk back. It was a little bit of a foreign idea for me, and often she thought my silence meant dislike.

Remember how I suck at words of affirmation? Well, I guess that sometimes people need words of affirmation. I forgot how much I needed that as a greenie, even though words of affirmation make me uncomfortable. I would tell Brewster occasionally how amazing she was doing and how impressed I was of her, but I neglected to do it often. I assumed that because I told her once, she'd remember that I thought she was an amazing missionary. Duh, Root, who remembers that in moments of insecurities?

So, our companionship was one of her being unsure of who the heck I was, because I wouldn't talk, of her being unsure how I felt about her/thought she was doing as a missionary, because I suck at saying encouraging things, of me just doing the work and loving it, of me being impressed with my little step-baby, and of my being completely oblivious to Brewster's uncertainties.

AFTER we were companions, I began to understand a little bit more what all was going through Brewster's head when we were companions, and I regretted not taking more moments to tell Brewster how awesome she was.

Brewster worked hard to come on a mission - partially Heavenly Father pushed her to work hard to come. And I love her for that. She fought every doubt and every insecurity, and now, 18 months later, she's home, and even more incredible than she was when we were companions. So, I'm here to say just a couple nice things about my lovely step-daughter.

One, she has an incredible testimony. Whether or not she believes it, so much of testimony is choosing to rely on faith, and she keeps choosing to believe, rather than doubt.

Two, she loves so much, so fully, and so deep. She even loved crazy, grumpy, oblivious me.

Three, she is so strong. The past 18 months of her life proves it, and I admire her for it.

Ok, so the next person. Sister Julien. She actually had been companions with Brewster in the MTC, and Brewster thought the WORLD of Julien, so I heard all about her. She sounded pretty awesome, so I made sure to pay attention to her whenever our paths crossed.

Turns out we served as STLs at the same time. Never as companions, but in mission leadership council, we'd talk a bit, and I quickly developed a deep respect for Julien. She had a deep understanding of Gospel principles, and a firm, confident testimony.

I came home from my mission and, because I was so impressed with Julien, I put her on my weekly email list (and by weekly, I mean I tried to email weekly, but I've always sucked at keep in regular contact with anybody.) and she ended up putting me on hers. Again, her depth of understanding  impressed me, and loved reading about the person she was becoming.

Being a return missionary comes with its own set of hardships; everyone experiences different ones. At one point, I was feeling particularly...isolated. For a number of reasons. I was frustrated about it, and that kind of only made things worse. And, the most random thing ever, at least to me, I had the thought to write to Julien about it. She didn't know me very well, which for some reason, took away the awkwardness of the situation, plus I knew I would receive absolutely zero judgment from her.

So, I wrote to her, and then what was one of those friendships because of mutual respect and because we thought the other person was pretty cool (at least I thought Julien was pretty cool) turned into a strong friendship of loyalty where I knew she had my back, and I totes had her back.

And the reason why it happened? Because Sister  Julien is probably one of the most Christlike individuals I've ever come in contact with. And I love her for it. I'm a better person for only slightly knowing her. I'm a stronger person because of it. Pretty much, Julien is just absolutely amazing.

So...anyway...this is one of my longer posts. But, I had to take the time to actually express my love, since I rarely do that in words. And these two individuals, well, they just came home from their missions. I don't care who you are, there is some element of sadness and difficulty in that. I only hope that these rare words of affirmation from me are able to help them feel love, support, and gratitude, and helps them realize that the effect of their past 18 months will touch their lives for the rest of eternity, so there is no reason to prolong the sadness. Yes, be sad, yes mourn, if you feel the need for what you have lost, but rejoice in what you will never lose because of what you did. And that's for any rm. :)

So...what, you might ask, has any of this got to do with grace?

Well, grace is what brought me to the WA-TAC. Grace is what brought me to the many incredible people now in my life, including Brewster and Julien. And grace is what constantly brings me closer to my Savior, and anything or anyone who helps me to draw nearer to Him is a little piece of grace.



P.S. Please enjoy my beautiful mission singing my beautiful mission song. And excuse me while I curl up in a ball and cry, because of it. (Just kidding. I don't do that. Except sometimes I do...)