Born to Fly - 2016

It's not quite the new year, but this just means that, for once in my life, I'm NOT procrastinating. I know, I know, let's not all die of shock, friends. People are allowed to change, right??

I've been doing a lot of thinking about growth and about where I want to go. I've been thinking about this past year and what's happened and what I've been able to accomplish.

• Had a relationship end at the very beginning of the year, which took me much longer to get over than I'd ever like to admit.
• I finally got a grasp on the whole return missionary thing. Again, that took me a lot longer to get used to than I'd ever like to admit. (The beginning of 2015 was a bit rough on me emotionally.)
• I fulfilled a calling as a Sunday School teacher 12 and 13 year olds. I do NOT miss that class, though I definitely miss teaching.
• I finished up my job at Gecko Grill, resolving never to ever work food service again, though very grateful for the people that I met, and the blessing it was to have that job (and the money I earned). 
• I went to California for the first time and fell in love with the beach and the ocean. Like, I still think about the beach all the time and it's been almost 6 months.
• I went on a Utah trip, completely on my own, which may not seem like a big deal, but it made me feel very adult. I planned it all by myself, did all the driving, by myself, and didn't starve, sleep in my car, or die. I adulted successfully!
• I moved up to Idaho for school, terrified out of my mind at the thought of living with 5 strangers, having to find a job, and tacking college after 2 1/2 years of no school.
• I made besties out of those 5 strangers.
• I got a job at an after school program for the junior high in Rexburg, which I LOVE!
• I was called to be the 1st counselor in the Relief Society presidency, which was humbling, but I loved it so much!
• I went swing dancing (once).
• I successfully finished the semester with straight A's.

So 2015. I feel like it was a successful year. I legitimately feel like I am chasing the dreams that I have - or, in the words of Sara Bareilles, I'm chasing the sun. I've been trying to make my life mean something, trying not to waste the time I have here on Earth. I've loved it, especially the past few months. Like I said earlier, the beginning of this year was a little rough on me, especially emotionally. It took me a little while to get back on my feet. I blundered my way through life for a little bit, faking my way through things, But, I got things figured out, and I am ending this year genuinely and incredibly happy. 

So, recap on this past year's goals:

Physical - to run. HAHAHAHAHA yeah that didn't happen. I'm not even sorry about it. Ok, I am a little bit. I mean, I bought decent shoes, so like, that's a bummer.

Mental - straight A's, yo. DONE!

Financial - to have money in my account and to not be forced to live paycheck to paycheck. DONE! (though no promises for next semester...)

Spiritual - Temple every week. Definitely struggled with this. Idaho is cold and the temple is like a 20 minute walk...so I convinced myself to not go multiple times. I AM sorry about this one.

Social - express love in some way every single day. Now, I don't know if I did every day, but I sure did try, and I sure did improve at expressing my love. I'd call this a success.

Ultimate goal: be happy. DONE! Done more than I think I anticipated.

So...what can I do this next year, the year of 2016 to fly even higher? To chase my dreams further? To become even closer to the Beth Ann Root I'm meant to become? That is the question.

So. Goals for 2016.

Physical - We all know I'm not going to go running. And we all know I'm not going to stop eating pizza. But I definitely need to be better at taking care of my body. So...a couple of small steps. I will walk to work at least twice a week. It will probably be way more, but I got kinda lazy this last semester. And, pizza only once a week (not including Totino's pizza. I mean, people say it's not even real pizza, anyway.) And, salads. Beth will eat salads.

Mental - I want to enjoy my school work. I want my classes to be a joy. I know I can make that a thing by giving my classes time - so it doesn't stress me out - and by not complaining. So...I guess the real goal is to complain less. For my mental health.

Financial - Pizza only once a week. And, if I have pizza, then I can't go to Cafe Rio that week. The struggle is real, my friends!

Spiritual - I will write in my journal every single day. 

Social - I will actually leave my apartment at least once a week for something outside of church on Sunday and family home evening to hang out with peeps. Because my apartment has become a safe place and I have ceased to step out of my comfort zone when it comes to socializing. 

Ultimate - Be happier. I want to be happier than I am now. I want to increase in joy. That is the purpose of goals and reflecting on the new year, is it not? To reach new heights of joy?

So, that's Beth Root. That's what I've been, and what I want to do. 

Why do I bother sharing this with you? To brag my accomplishments? (there really aren't that many, so that'd be dumb of me to do.) To just ramble on because I'm bored (well, a little.? 

It's because I want you all to reflect. I want you to think. And then I want you to run after your goals and your dreams. Run hard. Because what's life without a dream to catch? We all have great things to accomplish, no matter where we are in life. I believe that with all my heart and soul! In fact, I believe that each of us were born to fly. It doesn't matter where you are or where you've been. If you start right where you are, you can take off running, and you'll be surprised to find yourself up in the sky, capturing those beautiful, wonderful dreams.

Home

Since September 14th, I've made Rexburg, Idaho my home. I'm not unfamiliar with making other places my home. Flagstaff, Washington, now Rexburg. Mesa and the surrounding valley holds many people that I love dearly, but it's no longer home. I'm okay with that. But...let me tell you why.

This semester has been full of ups and down. At one point I was failing a class (something that has never happened before, and caused me great amounts of stress.). I had spent the previous 10 1/2 months building up my relationship with my family, only to move hundreds of miles away and to feel completely isolated from them. That was really hard to deal with at first. I was surrounded by strangers - it wasn't like going to Flagstaff, where I had my sister, Mesa High peeps, and one of my best friends from high school all around me. I've had my own set of struggles this semesters. Trials of all sorts. But, Heavenly Father gave me the tools to make this place home.

He sent me friends and roommates. People who have put up with my moodiness, sass, sarcasm, awkwardness, my brusque, sometimes harsh behavior and attitude. And they have loved me despite it. They see the good in me. They've supported me as I've shared secrets about myself, my struggles, and insecurities. They've uplifted me out of my funks. They've made me literally fall to the floor in laughter. They've caused me to step out of my comfort zone and stretch a little bit more. Their love has inspired me to be more selfless. Through their example, I have come closer to my Savior.

They have made Rexburg home for me.

From that very first day, I knew there was something special about apartment 106. Then, our first Sunday, we all gathered around to have dinner as roommates, and have never stopped having moments and occasions like that. They made me feel at home.

In my hardest times, when I felt incredible frustration and confusion, my roommates actions and responses echo the words of the beautiful song by Phillip Phillps. "Settle down it'll all be clear. Don't pay no mind to the demons, they fill you with fear. The trouble - it might drag you down, if you're lost you can always be found. Just know you're not alone; 'cause I'm gonna make this place your home."

Rexburg has become home. And it's only because of those blessed people in my life these past few months who have made it so. I had to say goodbye to one of them this afternoon. It was bittersweet, as she will be submitting her papers for a mission soon, so I know the reason why she's not returning is for one of the best of reasons, But bitter because she's helped to make this place home. And it's the same separating with everyone of my roommates. They've helped to create a home for me.

Home is where the heart is. The heart is where the love is. And I've been blessed to feel such immense love this semester. I would be in remiss for not saying so.