Sorry for the lack of blogposts, friends. This semester is insane, and really the only reason why this post is happening is because the Spirit made a pretty good effort to convince me to make time for it. Plus, all the help I've had to survive today makes it difficult to say no to this idea.
You see, last week was a bit of a rough one. I honestly don't think I did a single social thing outside of my apartment until Sunday. I spent a total of 6 hours in the plasma center. That is an incredibly long time for having donated twice. Other than going to the temple on Thursday, that was the extent of leaving my apartment for things other than work and school related things. Now, I know I'm not exactly the most social individual, but zero social interaction made for a hard, long week. It's definitely not fun to be choosing to be responsible all the time. Adulting is hard, yo!
Now, you're probably thinking, "Beth, you're being awfully dramatic. Just stop complaining." And, you would be right. I probably was pretty dramatic, but that doesn't stop the feelings of frustration, exhaustion, discouragement, and loneliness for being any less real. And it wasn't just how busy I was that getting me down. It was just these random little things that would happen that just made things even worse. Let me give you an example from today:
I was supposed to wake up at 5:00 to get an assignment done. I wake up at 5:45. I write that response paper in half and hour and make it out of the apartment just a couple minutes later than normal. Even with the accidentally sleeping in, I'm still running on just 5 hours of sleep. Then, while I'm in the library, stapling the paper I just wrote, I punch myself in the face. Because automatic staplers are frightening when you don't realize they're automatic and when you have your face really close to the stapler and your hand, because you're trying to figure out how the weird looking stapler works. While I was running (which I did not have as good of a run as I've been having) a blister that was healing reopened, making running/walking painful in my tennis shoes. At work, the heater pretty much explodes, filling the room with an awful smell, which made me nauseous for a good hour.
All the little things just making for wonderful opposition. So, maybe a little bit dramatic, but all very real for me. The incredible thing is, though, Heavenly Father did not leave me alone. I would be severely in remiss if I did not express my gratitude for all He did to help a crazy, emotional, discouraged college girl.
You see, if I was having a hard time, He sent me angels. Sometimes it required me to reach out to them, but they, without fail, would do exactly what I needed to lift my spirits. I value friendships greatly, even if I'm a little bit awful at upkeeping them. They are, I consider, some of the greatest gifts I could be given. The past few days, I have been overwhelmed by the kindness shown to me by friends.
I texted one friend on a particularly rough day, complaining a bit. She didn't blow me off, and she didn't try to make it better. She let me vent, helped me to see positive things, and then reminded that sometimes life is just rough, and that it's ok. She ended up letting my visiting teacher know that I was having a bad day, and so she encouraged me a bit. The best part? The day wasn't fixed, but by their kindness, I knew I was loved, and so I could move forward without being bogged down by the negative. That was the best thing that anybody could have done.
Another day, I was sitting doing homework for what felt like hours. I was over it. I wanted to be done but still had several hours left. A friend walked by, saw me, and came into my apartment literally to just give me a hug, and then kept on walking. I literally did not have words to express what that small gesture meant, because I was just so done with everything that day. That display of love boosted my spirits and then I was fine for the next little bit.
Today, with the day that it's been, I was a little frazzled and unfocused at work, so my coworker gave me pizza in an effort to make me feel better. Again, such a small gesture, but one that means the world to me (I say that quality time is my love language, but in reality, it's food. Especially pizza.
While this does not do my friends justice, I just had to express my love and gratitude of the friends I have in my life. They literally are angels placed on Earth, doing God's work. They are angels, because they make manifest the Lord's love for His children. From old high school friends that I never talk to anymore, to roommates I only get to see on my rare Arizona trips, to mission friends, current roommates, and old and new Rexburg friends. You are Godsent. You are angels. I do not often express my love for people, though I am trying to get better at it. But, really, I want you all to understand just how grateful I am for you. You are special. You are inspired. You are servants of God. Any time to act in love, you are acting as one of His angels. Thank you for being my angels.
Ok. Sappy post: done.
