More than just learning about how to improve in my job, I'm learning important principles in life. While I was driving home from work tonight, I was thinking about what happened during the final checks of the night, before I left. I couldn't stop thinking about it, and the Spirit started whispering some things to me, and I knew I wouldn't be able to go to sleep tonight without writing some of those thoughts. Nothing was new, grand revelation, but just a reiteration of things I have learned before, a reconfirmation and an expansion on those things.
I work with a group of juveniles who have been given the label of sex offenders. When I tell people this, I get a number of reactions. Most of them are a little uneasy for me. When I first was assigned to my cottage, I felt a little bit uneasy. That unease disappeared after about a half hour of being told I would be working with them. This is because of one simple principle:
Yeah, they have made some pretty terrible, and, for some, disgusting, decisions. But everyone - everyone - has the capacity to change. **Let me hold you up right here: some of you are thinking "But, what about - " No. EVERYONE has the capacity to change. Especially the kids at this facility. They just need help. So they're sex offenders? So what?? All the kids at the JCC are criminals, so why make a big deal about it!! Honestly one of my favorite parts of my job is just getting to know the kids. I honestly enjoy being with them. I love seeing them help others. I feel proud of them when I see them managing their emotions, trying to improve - even if they slip up sometimes - and seeing them have a successful day. I genuinely love the kids at the JCC. They're obnoxious, manipulative, disgusting criminals. But I love them. You know why? Because God loves them. I truly feel His love for them. I can't help but love them, after that.
Tonight, my experience simply reminded me of all of this. A juvenile was struggling with something, and I wanted nothing more than to just hug him and remind him that he is not his past. He does not need to be held back by what he has done or what his group thinks of him, because of who his was before. Maybe it was the fact that he was crying, and when I see genuine tears I turn soft and want to take on the world for that person, to take away all the bad feelings. (Usually, though, I just look away, otherwise I start crying sympathy tears, and because I don't know what to do besides offer food and awkwardly pat their shoulder.) But, maybe it was because in that moment, I saw, just a glimpse, of how our Heavenly Father sees him: a child who is trying to do the right thing and who needs love and support.
We all make mistakes. Maybe we haven't committed a crime and been incarcerated, but we are far from perfect. We need the turn away from our sins just as badly as any criminal does. We all need to rely on God's grace. Who am I to say that I am more deserving of love, kindness, consideration, and help, when I am struggling on the path, same as that criminal? God loves all of His children, no matter what - literally. Sometimes I think we forget that it is also our responsibility to make sure everyone understands that love, and, when we have the opportunity to share it, to feel that love. No matter what a person has done, they will always have the capacity to change, so who am I to hold them back by assuming they will always be defined by what they once did.
So, my message to that young man tonight who cried desperate tears, and to anyone who is reading this: You are not your past. you get to decide, right now, which direction to fact. And, if you are facing your Savior, or, if you are not religious, if you are facing the path of reconciliation, caring and concern, empathy, and productivity, then you don't need to feel discouraged or unworthy. Because you are not your past.
