Last year - back when live concerts were still a thing - I went to a Sara Bareilles concert. It was an AMAZING experience. While there, I bought a hoodie, because I felt like it called out to me. One the sleeve is that quote from her song Orpheus. "We did not give up on love today." It resonated within me, but I couldn't really articulate why. Due to my circumstances, romantic love isn't really something I'm focusing on or searching for, so a line this normally wouldn't jive with me. Today, I realized why: because I want to fight for love.
Last month, those of us who are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints had the opportunity to listen to several men and women of God declare that we needed to strive for unity, compassion, and understanding with everyone. President Oaks, in particular, reminded us that Christ mandated that we need to love everyone. Guess what? That includes our enemies. In fact, Christ specifically said that.
"Don't stop trying to find me here amidst the chaos. Though I know it's blinding there's a way out. Say out loud we will not give up on love now."
There's a lot of chaos going on in the world today. I feel torn apart. Voices from all sides calling out. And the loudest and most frequent ones are terrible. They are hateful, disparaging, intolerant, accusatory. They refuse to listen to others. You can't disagree with them without being called a tyrant, a bigot, uneducated, or worse. There is such a lack of love. In fact, I usually see, "Block them. Unfriend them." But...where is the love? Where is the compassion? Where is the understanding?
I have friends that voted for Trump. I don't believe in unfriending them or getting mad at them, because they voted for him. I don't believe it automatically makes them racist, homophobic, or transphobic. And...honestly? Even if they were...I probably would still be friends with them.
Let me explain: I used to be homophobic and transphobic. Because I didn't understand. But, I changed. Why? Because of my experiences, exposure, and just, you know, life in general changing me. (Realizing I'm gay certainly helped move things along, but I think I would have gotten there eventually.) I'm grateful that my friends didn't leave me, because my lack of knowledge and understanding caused me to have ignorant attitudes. I used to be a bit insensitive and, honestly, I probably was a bit racist. Even now, I actively work to not say insensitive things and try to correct any racist attitudes I might have. Ibram K. Kendi discusses that the opposite of racist is anti-racist rather than simply "not being racist." In fact, "not being racist" isn't really a thing. As he explains it, you can either be one or the other. You're either racist or you're actively fighting against racism. That means even if you are not actively saying things or actively practicing racist attitudes, if you're not speaking out when you witness racism or striving to help make positive changes, you are, by sins of omission, being racist. This means that there have been times - probably many times - where I have been racist. Like I said, it is something I try to be very conscious of. I'm very grateful for the friends that I still have, despite the fact that I am not perfectly anti-racist.
The moral of the story is, people are not completely good or completely bad. You probably have racist friends who are actually incredible people. They just need to have their eyes opened, they need a little bit more experience, a little bit more understanding. You probably have some amazing friends who are a little homophobic or transphobic. Again, they just need to have their eyes opened, have a little more experience, and a little bit more understanding.
Now, obviously, you need to set appropriate boundaries for yourself. If you feel unsafe - physically, mentally, or emotionally - definitely remove yourself from those people making you feel that way. But, remember...people are not black and white (in the metaphorical sense). Give room for people to be gray.
I have friends that voted for Biden. They are not all uneducated, duped by the media, baby killing socialists.
My whole point is...we all deserve way more love. Even your enemies, and I really feel like we are treating the different political parties as enemies. Which I hate. I don't agree with it. It's so divisive. BUT. If that is how you see things...how about you love them anyway? We are supposed to love our enemies.
While this song is intended to be a romantic love song, I feel this is very appropriate for right now. Please, try to find one another amidst this terrible chaos. Don't give up on love. Don't let elections, politics, different ideologies, get in the way of your love.
"We'll say we did not give up on love today."
