Just gonna keep chasing - 2017

This song was my theme song 2015. It managed to pump me up and help to get me out of my funks after coming home from my mission. I loved the idea of chasing the sun - of living life to the fullest and striving to chase my dreams. As I was making the long drive from Rexburg to Mesa, "Chasing the Sun" came up on my playlist, and it made me think again of how much I love this song and what it has come to mean, and I decided that I want to make it the theme again, for 2017.

2017 is going to bring some pretty neat things for me, and is going to be a time where I will need to prep for some changes and big choices. By the end of 2017, I will only have one semester left of school, which means I need to be prepared for the next steps of life. Military? Grad school? Full-time job? Where will I live? So many things to think about?

In the meantime, I'm going to be doing research, which Nerd-Beth gets SUPER excited for. All of my classes for the rest of my time in Rexburg will pertain to my degree - no more still foundation classes that make me want to stab my eyes out. Again, Nerd-Beth is very happy. I'll hopefully be making TWO California trips, which makes me happy, because, well, California. One of my best friends will be getting home from her mission. And that's only the things I know are happening. There are adventures to be had and unplanned events that will happen. I'm pretty stoked for this new year. I'm even more excited for what these things mean for my dreams. I'm chasing them pretty hardcore this year.

I did pretty well chasing dreams in 2016. I was a research assistant; I got straight A's this last semester; I went on an adventure to Wyoming, camping with my best friend and her boyfriend (literally my first time camping in over 5 years) which involved going to Yellowstone for the first time; I became open about my same-sex attraction, which has been such a blessing to my life. Probably my favorite thing from this year is how comfortable I have become with who I am and in being able to express myself. I am Beth Root. Hear me roar. My other favorite thing is that I feel like my capacity to love has deepened. Life is not easy. This year has been a roller-coaster. Instead of isolating myself in self-pity, I have reached out, loved deeply, and not only survived my trials, but conquered them, because I looked outward, rather than inward.

I might not have rocked some of my goals - pizza and fast food is always a weakness of mine. Writing in my journal was pretty much nonexistent. But, I started running! I even ran a 5K! I changed my eating habits slightly - salads are a little bit more regular and I ate real food, like chicken or fish, instead of ramen and mac and cheese all the time. I really enjoyed this past semester, and looked forward to most of my classes (probably the reason why I earned A's. Funny how well you do when you're interested and invested in a class). My ultimate goal for 2016 was to increase my happiness. I think that was a win, because, well, I'm pretty dang happy!

I'm really bad at long term goals - and I consider a year long term. This year, I've found semester goals have been a little bit more effective, but there are a few things I want to conquer in 2017.

#1: I want to keep running. It's not my favorite, but I love the feeling afterwards. The feeling of accomplishment and knowing that I'm doing something good to take care of my body. I want to run a 5K in under 30 minutes.

#2: I want to actively work on improving my Spanish. Once upon a time, I actually was pretty decent at it. Now I can only talk about comida. Porque comida es vida. I want to start working on the Book of Mormon in Spanish. I wish I could say something like read the whole thing in Spanish, but I don't think that's realistic, so I'm gonna shoot for reaching Alma.

#3: I want to road trip. I want to go somewhere other than Utah, Arizona, or California. I feel like it is important to have adventures. They cause one to stretch and adventures usually involve spending time with loved ones or finding new people to love.

#4: The ultimate goal of 2017: Rather than making is about myself, I want to make it about others. Rather than making is about increasing my happiness, I want it to be about increasing others' happiness. This might not exactly be measurable, so my actual goal is to express my love for others. I regularly will let people know that I love them.

I feel pretty satisfied about what I've been able to do this year. I've been able to get closer to my dreams. At some points, it has felt like I've been flying.

So, here's to the end of a great (though hard) year and to the beginning of 2017. Let's all work at making it a year where we just try, where we live life to the fullest, where we chase the sun!

So fill up your lungs and just run!
But always be chasing the sun!
All we can do is try
And live like we're still alive.

Jumping out of the boat

Fun fact about myself: I LOVE the water! I think any body of water is just the prettiest thing ever. I could stare at a lake, river, even a creek for hours. It's my life's dream to one day live close enough to the ocean that I can go there any time that I want. I absolutely love the beach. I could just stand out on the shore with the water coming in and out hitting my feet for forever. I don't know what it is about water, but I feel a special connection with God when I am near water.

Interestingly enough, the very first nightmare I remember having involved drowning. Some of my most intense dreams that I remember dealt with water.

Throughout the scriptures, there is great symbolism with water. Christ is the Living Water. In parts of the Old Testament, flowing water symbolized the temple and the knowledge found within. In the Book of Mormon, multiple groups of people had to cross the sea in order to reach the promised land, and this journey across the ocean is often compared to our sojourn here on earth.

Some of my favorite New Testament stories deal with water. One of them we discussed in FHE tonight: the story of Peter going out to walk on water to meet Christ. As we discussed this familiar story, I began to think about my life. I love the water. I think it's so pretty - to look at. Save the ocean, I rarely will just volunteer to jump into the water. Even in the ocean, I have never gone out very deep. I have to have a very good reason to submerge myself. Water is cold! And unpredictable. Maybe a little bit frightening. This makes Peter's act of faith even more incredible.

It was night, and it was storming. He sees Christ, and after confirming that it truly is Him, Peter jumps out of the boat. He just hops on out! He is so confident that whatever needs to happen, will. He knows He will be able to meet up with his Friend and Master.

Now, his faith does waver a little bit. He realizes just how stormy it is around him and gets a little bit freaked. Yet, even as he is sinking, he turns to the Savior, knowing He will help, and cries out to Him.

I began to think about my life. I've had to plunge into a few things this semester, acting in a lot of faith. I've had to sacrifice time - time to go to the temple, time to take care of my physical health, time to be with people instead of homework. I've had to sacrifice things that I love - I had to give up being a research assistant this semester! I've had to trust Heavenly Father with things that I have little or no control over. Things going on with my family back home. My desires to have my own family, but my situation making that a little bit difficult and making me uncertain about the reality of that happening. My grades - I'm working my butt off, but I can only do so much and can't stress myself out too much just for a scholarship. My future of graduate school - or other possibilities!

I've worked really hard this semester to just act. To jump out of the boat into the scary waters and walk towards Christ. I haven't always been successful, though. There have been times where I got distracted, where I started worrying, fearing, stressing out. I have always been lifted up, though, before I was submerged. Hands have lifted me every time, gently pointing me back to Christ, reminding me what my focus needs to be on.

 

Moral of the story: Just jump out of the boat! You will find your way to Christ if you do.

Angels on Earth

Sorry for the lack of blogposts, friends. This semester is insane, and really the only reason why this post is happening is because the Spirit made a pretty good effort to convince me to make time for it. Plus, all the help I've had to survive today makes it difficult to say no to this idea.

You see, last week was a bit of a rough one. I honestly don't think I did a single social thing outside of my apartment until Sunday. I spent a total of 6 hours in the plasma center. That is an incredibly long time for having donated twice. Other than going to the temple on Thursday, that was the extent of leaving my apartment for things other than work and school related things. Now, I know I'm not exactly the most social individual, but zero social interaction made for a hard, long week. It's definitely not fun to be choosing to be responsible all the time. Adulting is hard, yo!

Now, you're probably thinking, "Beth, you're being awfully dramatic. Just stop complaining." And, you would be right. I probably was pretty dramatic, but that doesn't stop the feelings of frustration, exhaustion, discouragement, and loneliness for being any less real. And it wasn't just how busy I was that getting me down. It was just these random little things that would happen that just made things even worse. Let me give you an example from today:

I was supposed to wake up at 5:00 to get an assignment done. I wake up at 5:45. I write that response paper in half and hour and make it out of the apartment just a couple minutes later than normal. Even with the accidentally sleeping in, I'm still running on just 5 hours of sleep. Then, while I'm in the library, stapling the paper I just wrote, I punch myself in the face. Because automatic staplers are frightening when you don't realize they're automatic and when you have your face really close to the stapler and your hand, because you're trying to figure out how the weird looking stapler works. While I was running (which I did not have as good of a run as I've been having) a blister that was healing reopened, making running/walking painful in my tennis shoes. At work, the heater pretty much explodes, filling the room with an awful smell, which made me nauseous for a good hour.

All the little things just making for wonderful opposition. So, maybe a little bit dramatic, but all very real for me. The incredible thing is, though, Heavenly Father did not leave me alone. I would be severely in remiss if I did not express my gratitude for all He did to help a crazy, emotional, discouraged college girl.

You see, if I was having a hard time, He sent me angels. Sometimes it required me to reach out to them, but they, without fail, would do exactly what I needed to lift my spirits. I value friendships greatly, even if I'm a little bit awful at upkeeping them. They are, I consider, some of the greatest gifts I could be given. The past few days, I have been overwhelmed by the kindness shown to me by friends.

I texted one friend on a particularly rough day, complaining a bit. She didn't blow me off, and she didn't try to make it better. She let me vent, helped me to see positive things, and then reminded that sometimes life is just rough, and that it's ok. She ended up letting my visiting teacher know that I was having a bad day, and so she encouraged me a bit. The best part? The day wasn't fixed, but by their kindness, I knew I was loved, and so I could move forward without being bogged down by the negative. That was the best thing that anybody could have done.

Another day, I was sitting doing homework for what felt like hours. I was over it. I wanted to be done but still had several hours left. A friend walked by, saw me, and came into my apartment literally to just give me a hug, and then kept on walking. I literally did not have words to express what that small gesture meant, because I was just so done with everything that day. That display of love boosted my spirits and then I was fine for the next little bit.

Today, with the day that it's been, I was a little frazzled and unfocused at work, so my coworker gave me pizza in an effort to make me feel better. Again, such a small gesture, but one that means the world to me (I say that quality time is my love language, but in reality, it's food. Especially pizza.

While this does not do my friends justice, I just had to express my love and gratitude of the friends I have in my life. They literally are angels placed on Earth, doing God's work. They are angels, because they make manifest the Lord's love for His children. From old high school friends that I never talk to anymore, to roommates I only get to see on my rare Arizona trips, to mission friends, current roommates, and old and new Rexburg friends. You are Godsent. You are angels. I do not often express my love for people, though I am trying to get better at it. But, really, I want you all to understand just how grateful I am for you. You are special. You are inspired. You are servants of God. Any time to act in love, you are acting as one of His angels. Thank you for being my angels.

Ok. Sappy post: done.

Real Talk

Sara Bareilles. My home girl. Super talented, and while this song may seem super random in regards to what I am about to talk about, don't worry, I'm going to tie it in at the end.

It's been awhile since I've posted. That's because, one, I'm working full-time right now, and all of my free time is spent either sleeping or actually being social. And two, I'm working on another blog post, but it's taking  a lot of time, effort, and thought.

The idea for this blog post has been rolling around in my head for a little while. I've been a little bit hesitant to actually do it for a couple of reasons. One, when I shared with you all about my same-sex attraction I never intended to then use my blog as a venue to continue to talk about it. Two, some of the things that I'm about to write get way real. It forces me to be real with myself, to lay bear my fears and my weaknesses.

The reason why I AM writing and sharing this is because someone recently asked me some advice pertaining to one of their loved ones who has the same struggle. After the short communication, I thought that it might be beneficial to share with people a little glimpse of what it is like to have this struggle.

Now, remember, my experience is not like everyone else's. But, this might help you understand a little bit of my life, as well as others with similar struggles.

As I said in my original post, I am also attracted to guys, but the attraction is different. The difference is that I'm attracted to girls physically. As in, their body. As in all the things the natural man in me wants, craves, and is tempted with are physical. When I am attracted to a guy, I have to put effort into it. Yes, I'll find a guy cute, but I have to take into consideration of his personality, his talents, his goals, and then he becomes legitimately attractive to me. As in, I want to spend time with him, know him better, be a part of his life, AND have that physical relationship with him.

So, that's kinda a brief explanation of my dealio.

Here's my life:

• I'm often afraid of physical contact with girls. One, because I'm not a touchy-feely person to begin with. Two, because I'm afraid of that contact giving me thoughts and feelings I don't want.
• Although I'm afraid of physical contact, I hate people having to change their own natural behaviors, and so I don't know what to do and I just feel awkward and uncomfortable.
• I'm afraid of forming friendships with girls. I'm afraid of what others who know of my struggle might think. I'm afraid of what that friend will think of my intentions. It becomes difficult for me to actually outreach.
• I get really discouraged when  I try to put forth effort in showing interest in a boy that I'm attracted to and nothing seems to come of it, because, heck, I put forth a LOT of effort to like a boy!
• I'm afraid of what might happen if I start dating a boy who doesn't know of my struggle and then I have to tell him. What will he do?
• I'm afraid that I won't get married and have a family, when, freak, I want to be a mom so bad!
• I'm afraid of losing friends when they find out about my struggle, because they feel uncomfortable - even though I've never yet experienced that.
• I'm afraid that guys won't ask me on dates because they know of my struggle.
• I hate some of the dreams I get at night.
• I get frustrated by comments made at church or by church members that, though are said innocently, can be discouraging and hurtful to those with this struggle.
• I live my life normally and do all the things I would have done without this struggle, but it is always in the back of my mind because I'm afraid of letting my guard down. 
• I'm afraid of getting to comfortable with a friend and not keeping my feelings/impulses in check.
• I constantly feel like I have to be careful how I act, or the pictures I post on Facebook because I don't want people to think I am acting on the temptation.
• Sometimes my stress and irritability is simply because I'm dealing with life and all of these fears in the back of my head.
• Sometimes I second guess my behavior with my friends, because I'm so worried about giving into temptation.

I have gained strength, though. I've learned about who I am. This struggle, it's rough sometimes. Sometimes the fears get the best of me. Some days are just rough. But, as Sara Bareilles sang about in the song at the beginning of the post, I have become an island. 

That does not mean I stand alone. That is not what Sara intended to be taken away from her song. In an interview she said, "It's not about shutting people out, it's about figuring out who you are at your core." I am not my fear. I am not my struggle or temptation. I am Beth Ann Root. Awkward, yes. But, also a friend. Loyal. Determined (or stubborn). I don't wear make-up and I rock the short hair. I love fancy watches and button-up shirts. These are the things that make me up. Not my fears, and not my temptations.

At my very core, I am a daughter of God who is doing her best to reach her fullest potential. I'm living my life, loving my friends, my family, and my life. If I concentrate on that, many of the fears slip away. And, if people focus on my core and who I am, the rest of the fears slip away - and if people don't look at my core, then, well, I shouldn't waste the time caring what they think.

Real talk: done. Now, go watch some Studio C to lighten up the mood I just created.

I wanna see you be brave!

A little over a month ago, I shared my story - well, one of my stories. A piece of my story that makes up who I am. With that experience, and as I've continued to ponder my own life and my own struggles, as well as discuss with people their own life and struggles, I've come to the conclusion that our stories are not meant to be kept to ourselves.

Why are we given weaknesses? Is it simply for us to to become better individuals ourselves? I don't believe so. I believe we are given weaknesses, trials, and experiences, not only to help us become, but to help others become. As I shared my story, I was overwhelmed by the feedback I received. People acted on my request to share my story, as I hoped it would reach people who were in a similar situation or who were seeking understanding. And then I began to receive comments and messages from people who had loved ones struggling with the same thing or who were the ones struggling.

Our experiences give us the ability to have empathy. I think that is a huge reason why we experience some of the struggles we have. We can look at others experiencing something similar, and we can, to a small degree, experience the kind of empathy and care that the Savior has. We can minister to them strengthen them, and encourage them. We can show them that it is possible to overcome, and allow the experiences to help them become.

Our experiences give us the ability to help other people understand other people's struggles.

I believe that if we take the time and effort to articulate our stories, we can change the world. We can be a force of good, of light, and of strength. We can share our failure and our triumphs, and how we have used both to become who we are today.

We can share our moments of darkness to show that it is always possible to find the light.

We can share our fears and our weaknesses to show that one can always turn to Christ.

My story is not unique; that is not why I shared it. It's simply...a story from my life. A story about my path to become the individual I am destined to be. Everyone has these stories.

My goal? My hope? My dream? To help you share your stories. Big stories, little stories. Just...your stories. Because all stories are significant. Some of you will have big weighty secrets, difficult traumas, or simple struggles. No matter the experience, your story will not be less powerful or less meaningful. The smallest of experiences can teach the greatest of lessons.

My sister, when I shared with her my plan to share my story, made a Sara Bareilles reference. She said, "Thank you for showing how big your brave is."

Sara wrote a song I'm sure you are familiar with. It's about opening up your mouth and speaking. We shouldn't be afraid to speak our heart. Stop holding your tongues, my friends. Share your story.

I would love to use my blog as a venue of sharing your stories. If you have a story to share - really, it can be big or little. I just want your stories shared - let me know. You can write it, if you like, and I'll post it here. Or, if you feel you aren't an accomplished writer, I can write it for you. I'll speak with you, interview you, and write it. Everything will be according to your approval. I won't post something that you don't like.

And then, my friends and readers, I would hope you would share the stories posted, just as you shared mine.

So, please. Ponder and pray on what you might have to share. And then show me - and the world - how big your brave is!

Never Alone

***I apologize for the visual cheesiness of this video. It's just...old...***

Today in sacrament meeting, I was reflecting on a few things. Most of my thoughts revolved around a quote I've shared before. My roommate said it to me when I was trying to make the decision of whether or not to be open about my same-sex attraction. (You can read that post here if that sentence was a shocker for you.) She said, "It's ok to be completely alone if you are standing with Christ."

My thoughts revolved around that as I thought about last weekend. Last weekend was a really difficult one for me, for multiple reasons. One of them, though, was that, for just a little bit, I allowed the adversary to convince me that I was isolated. Simple instances where, I am positive none of my friends intended to make me feel that way, I felt left out, unwanted, and alone. (In fact, I am 100% positive they had no idea and that  it had everything to do with me letting Satan put thoughts in my head.

Today, a week later and with a clearer perspective, I reflected back on what my roommate had told me. What I have learned from that statement and from my experiences with my friends and especially my roommates is that I really am never alone. Christ is always standing by me. And, the best part is, He often stands by me in the form of other people. For example, when I shared my story about my struggle, I did not get one single negative word in response. Instead, I felt love. I felt support. People shared my story. Strangers sent me messages on Facebook. Friends and roommates rallied to my side, ready to be furious if anybody did anything to hurt my feelings.

As I sat there, pondering my experiences, pondering my roommate's statement, and pondering my rough weekend, I came to the conclusion, that I'm sure we have all heard before, we are never alone. 99% of the time, someone will be sent our way. And, if not, Christ will be right there, ready to support us through the Spirit and through His love. I have been overwhelmed this past semester, as I've opened my eyes to the love that surrounds me. I frequently thank my Heavenly Father with all my heart for the people I am currently surrounded by.

You, reading this, who might feel alone, isolated, like you are rejected, I can testify to you that is a lie planted in your mind by Satan. I promise you that there is someone in your life who loves you, who cares about you, who wants what best for you. If you can't find them, it's because Christ is standing there, trying to convince you that He's there, loving you, wanting you with Him.

You are never alone. He won't allow it. He suffered so we wouldn't have to be alone.

When have you felt the Lord send you someone or send you love when you were feeling alone? Please, share your experiences and, if you know someone who can benefit from my message, share my thoughts.

To my friends

I've started multiple posts lately, but I just haven't gotten around to finishing them. The idea of this post, though, was birthed while I was at work prepping for a phone call. I had just talked to a student about her classes this semester. She's been struggling, and she was just really discouraged. Because of the nature of my job, I had the opportunity to bear my testimony and encourage her to get through it. I just gave her the gentle reminder that she would get through it, and it would be worth it. Then, while I was prepping, this song came on my Pandora station. Alright, by Walk Off the Earth (no, I'm not even sorry.) Thinking about this student - and then other students I talked to today who were having trouble making decisions or who were discouraged - made me want to share a message that reminds people that it's alright. Things will be alright.

It's not just Pathway students that I've been talking to that I feel like are in need of this message. I have friends who are discouraged, stressed, who are making tough decisions, whose lives aren't going the way they anticipated. All I want to do is scoop these people up and with as much warmth and kindness as I can muster, tell them that it's going to be alright.

Sometimes in the moment, that's not what one wants to hear. In the moment, you want to feel and you want someone else to feel, as well. But, once you have that moment of feeling and acknowledging the hardship you are experiencing, it is important to remember and hold onto the idea that you're going to be alright. Yes, you may still feel discouraged or overwhelmed while holding fast to that knowledge. But, if you hold fast, that will turn into hope, which will turn into faith, which will turn into miracles.

Don't forget to look forward. Don't forget to chase your dreams. Don't forget to remember your divine nature and divine power. Don't forget that you have the power to change the world, so the adversary is going to oppose you in any way he can, because he doesn't want to yo wield your great power and influence on the world.

So, to you who is feeling a little discouraged...did you know that you're alright? You're burning bright. To you who is having trouble making a decision, did you know that you're alright? Just chase your dreams and move forward. To you whose life feels like it's spinning out of control, did you know that you're alright? Don't regret what happened, instead use that experience to help you be strengthened and to help you strengthen others.

Just remember that you're alright, now. And if you don't feel that, you'll get there.

My story

“It’s ok to be completely alone if you are standing with Christ.”

The other day at the temple, I was pondering an impression I had received. It was an impression to do something that would be incredibly difficult for me and scared me more than I care to admit. I began praying fervently and desperately for a confirmation, so I could be certain that it was the right thing to do. I received that confirmation, and then I prayed for another one – and then another one. Heavenly Father patiently responded to each plea, until He finally was like, “Beth. You’re fine!”

He did this through my roommate, who, when I asked her a question, told me, “It’s ok to be completely alone if you are standing with Christ.”

Those words pierced my heart as I realized that this was the reason why I was so hesitant and fearful to act upon this prompting: because I was scared of losing people in my life and being alone.

You see, I have a secret. I don’t have very many of them, because I don’t like secrets. I’m pretty open about my life. But there’s this one that very few people in my life already know about. And the Spirit whispered to me to no longer keep my secret.

So…here it is. My secret? I struggle with same-sex attraction.

Whew.

It actually is relieving to say it. The few times I’ve shared it with people, it’s been like this weight was lifted off my shoulders. It’s always terrifying as I’m doing it and as I’m waiting for people’s reactions, but once it’s said and done, and I look into the faces of my friends and loved ones, I’m just like, “Wait, what was the big deal? They love me. They support me.” And I feel like I can conquer the world.

When I first admitted to myself that this was, indeed, a real struggle of mine, I couldn’t imagine that being the case at all. I couldn’t imagine feeling relief. All I felt was confusion, dread, anxiety, and frustration. I was in a bad place – not because I faced a moral dilemma, but because, here I was, experiencing feelings, impulses, thoughts, and desires that were completely contrary to what I firmly believed in. It didn’t shake my faith in the Gospel; it shook my faith in me. I knew that I wasn’t going to abandon what I knew to be true about the Plan of Salvation and the purpose of life. But, I didn’t know what I was going to do.

Now, I suppose I should clarify, here, that although I deal with same-sex attraction, I do still also like guys. The attraction is different though. Maybe I’ll explain the difference at a later date.

Thus, my situation is not like others who are attracted to only their own gender, or those who might actually associate themselves as gay or lesbian. That’s something I feel like I can’t label myself as, because I don’t act upon those feelings or impulses. Instead, I choose to be defined by my actual choices.

As I came to terms with this weakness – temptation, struggle, I still don’t know what to call it – I came to the conclusion that if I kept up my spirituality, with scripture study, regular prayers, temple attendance, etc. then those feelings would be kept at bay. I felt like it worked for a while; in reality, I wasn’t social at all, so I didn’t really associate with anyone outside of my family. Those feelings wouldn’t have been a problem in those circumstances.

Then, my social scene changed; I moved up to Rexburg to attend school at BYU-Idaho. This meant that I was rooming with 5 girls. Many of the friends that I was making were girls. And the attraction began to be something that I had to deal with again. I really struggled with this, because I was diligently reading my scriptures, saying my prayers, attending the temple, and fulfilling my new calling. Shouldn’t that have meant that I wasn’t feeling this way? I felt like the Lord abandoned me, 

because He wasn’t preventing this. He wasn’t protecting me from it.

News flash: The Lord doesn’t work that way! He wasn’t going to take away this challenge from me. Yes, He was definitely going to bless me for my diligence and efforts to upkeep my spirituality. He strengthened me, He uplifted me, and He enabled me to continue living the principles of the Gospel as I know and believe them.

This help that He gives me doesn’t mean that I understand my situation completely. I don’t. I don’t know if I ever will. I also can’t pretend to understand the exact situations that others who experience same-sex attraction are in. Each is slightly different. All I know is that my purpose here on Earth is to become like my Heavenly Father. That’s why we were sent here; that is our greatest potential. And who is Heavenly Father? In the words of a wise man I know, God is a family man. The Gospel teaches that we each are destined to have an eternal family, that exaltation with the Father is impossible without Celestial marriage and a celestial family. Does this mean that every righteous, Gospel-living individual is going to get married in this life? No. But, if eternal life is your goal, family should be your goal. If you are fairly certain marriage is not in the cards for you in this life because of same-sex attraction or whatnot, family should still be something you yearn for and hope for in the eternities. Parenthood is our divine nature; we know we are not complete without someone of the opposite gender. Family is an eternal principle and should be treated as such. Everyone should look towards it, whether in this life or the next.

Along with a strengthened testimony of the family, this challenge in my life has taught me many things.

I’ve learned a lot about friendship. Did you know that the scriptures actually teach about friendships? About brotherly love? I may not have much experience in romantic love, but I have learned a lot about brotherly love. I’ve learned the value and importance of friendships. I’ve learned that they’re absolutely necessary for me to progress in this life. I’ve learned how to be a better friend, and how to let people be good friends to me, as I’ve trusted them and opened up to them – and not just about my same-sex attraction. My fear of being alone is slowly diminishing.

I have also learned that when the burden gets to a point where it seems too heavy to bear, that’s when it’s time to lift someone else’s burden. Somehow, in doing so, yours gets lighter. Through my struggles, I’ve learned to look at other people’s needs. I strive to help people. I now find incredible joy in being able to help people in any aspect of their lives. Lifting up another person lifts me, as well.

Most of all, I have learned about my Savior, Jesus Christ. There have been dark times when I have felt utterly alone, lost, and confused. In those times, He was there. I have learned that it is ok to be completely alone if I am standing with Christ. He will always stand with me.

I’m trying my best to make sense of this crazy, confusing life of mine. All I know is that I’m not going to let this weakness of mine define me. Instead, I’m going to make sure it becomes a strength. A strength in the sense that I’m learning and growing from it; in the sense that other people who are going through similar struggles can be strengthened and persevere through their own trials; in the sense that those who don’t understand what it’s like to have same-sex attraction can learn to be sympathetic, understanding, and non-judgmental about something that’s just…a thing.

My name is Beth Root. I’m attracted to girls. I also like boys. My life can be pretty confusing at times, but…I’m betting yours is too. We’re not that different, you and me. We’re just on this road to life. I’m writing my story to help others through their confusing times. Your story can probably help others, too.

Do me a couple of favors, will you? Share my story with your friends - through Facebook or whatever. I’m doing my best to be bold so I can help others. Help me with my goal? Also, write your own story. We each a have a story - some have more than one - to tell. Tell one that can change the world! You have one, waiting for you to share it.

I'll Be Waiting

Yes, this is Walk Off the Earth, again. Get over it. They inspire me.

Yesterday was a rough day in my apartment. There was stress, disappointments, hormones, all the things. And then there was me, looking at it all, thinking about how relatively easy my life has been lately. I mean, it's definitely not without trials. But it was one of those moments where I realized that I didn't have anything to complain about it, and I just wanted to reach out and help lift the burdens of my friends.

Sometimes when we are on out path of Becoming, we come across people meant to help us reach further and beyond what we might be able to do without them. But, sometimes it might appear that we are going at different paces, and we might have to slow down - or even stop.

This might seem counterproductive, but in reality, if we are so focused on ourselves and our own progress, causing us to fail to see those around us, maybe when they are in need or struggling, we cannot progress. We might be moving, but not upward. Instead, we get stuck. Thus, it is sometimes necessary to slow down and stop - or, wait.

I think Christ is the perfect example of that. If He ever saw someone in need, He would stop and help them. I don't think there ever would have been a moment when He was trying to get somewhere and someone cried out, "Lord!" that He would have been like, "Oh, man, sorry dude, but I've gotta get to my next thing. Next time, thought, I'll for sure stop and help." No. In fact, When no one cried out, He still would recognize a need and stop what He was doing to meet those needs. The woman with the issue of blood; she had touched His clothes and was healed. Yet, He stopped in the middle of a crowd, turned around, went to her and let her know that she was healed because of her faith. He didn't have to do that! She was already healed! But I bet she needed those kind, encouraging words. She needed Him to stop.

I learned that principle on my mission. Sometimes I'd be on my way to an appointment, but then my companion and I would stop and talk with someone - because that was what was necessary. It made us late for the appointment, but we slowed down and stopped. Sometimes, a companion was having a rough time. All I would want to do is just plug along, work super hard, just drag her with me. What I would need to do at that time, though, is slow down. Sure, maybe it wouldn't let me progress or participate in God's work in the way that I wanted, but by stopping and giving some  TLC, I still was on my way to Becoming.

Sometimes life gets really hard for others. We must always be willing to slow down and stop, and then wait with that person. Think of your friends. Wouldn't you wait for them? I'm not talking about waiting on essential things for your salvation. You don't want to wait to do things that are required of you. But, don't be in such a rush that you miss the needs of the ones you love.

Be that friend that will wait.

"I'll be waiting here for you, till the sun comes up and the stars fall, I'll be waiting here for you!"

You're life will be hard, sometimes. It can get discouraging, confusing, stressful, overwhelming. But, there are people waiting for you, too. So, listen to the words of Gianni: Never let them see you break in the middle, let your heart get to little, or get lost in riddle." Because there will be someone waiting for you.

And, to my peeps, you know I'll be waiting.

California Trees

Clearly I'm obsessed with Walk off the Earth. This isn't the first time I've posted one of their songs. And I do it on Facebook all the time. I just find their music not only pleasing to my inner music-nerd, but also their lyrics inspiring.

Anyone who has been a previous reader of my blog knows that I believe in chasing dreams. I believe Heavenly Father gives us dreams as a means for us to become who we are meant to be. It's when we take hold of our dreams and actively chase after them that we witness miracles and we grow.

One of the reasons why I love this song is that, currently, one of my dreams is to go to grad school in California - there are several universities in California who are highly ranked in the programs I'm considering. Plus, there's the beach. And the Kellogg family. (Literally half of my roommates are Kelloggs right now. I feel like I should just be made an honorary Kellogg already. They're like my favorite people ever.) So, using California (well, California trees, but, you know, California) as a metaphor for chasing after something makes me pretty happy.

If we are chasing a dream - if we are wanting to become something, reach our potential, and do something incredible to improve mankind - we can't just stay put. We have to do something. We have to go somewhere. That somewhere doesn't need to be a completely different state. It simply needs to be outside of your comfort zone.

We all have a journey to go on. Heavenly Father has an incredible destination intended for each of us. It's going to require discovery. It's going to require some growth. We might have to shed some of our old leaves and put one new ones. But, we should always be growing. Growing higher. And as you go up, be sure that your convictions in your dream that you're chasing get's louder and louder.

Chase your dreams. If you haven't found one yet, go out and search for that California tree. There's one meant for you. Go become who you are meant to be. Change the world in the way your Heavenly Father knows you can.

If you are absolutely uncertain what you're supposed to be doing, I invite you to pray. Heavenly Father will give you direction. Maybe slowly and gradually, but you will realize your dreams as you draw near to Him. In the mean time, don't stop doing, don't stop trying, and always love what you do.

What's your California tree?

A Sappy Blogpost

I'm currently home alone, and have been for the past couple of days. I HAVE had human interaction, but it's been pretty slim, especially compared to what I've been used to. This past semester I was around people A LOT. People were always over at the apartment, and I took to doing as much homework as possible outside of my room. Because, funny thing, I actually like people. So, needless to say, I've been going crazy having hours on end by myself. 

So, because of this, I've had lotsa time to reflect and ponder. My current ponderings and the dwellings of my mind revolve around yesterday: National Siblings Day.

I'm one who has always been grateful for my family, despite how crazy, stressful, and obnoxious they all can be. With all the problems that there are within my wonderful, occasionally dysfunctional family, I've actually been missing them a lot, lately. 3 1/2 months of not seeing them, and not actually know the next time I'll be able to see them and be tormented by them has actually made me kinda sappy. (Shhh. Don't tell them.)

Family is a peculiar notion. People we are stuck with...but we love them - sometimes having to try harder than at other moments - and we can't imagine life without them. We didn't choose them, yet we choose to love them. I'm grateful for the doctrine of eternal families. 

So, in honor of my sappy mood, let me bore you with details about my siblings and how awesome they are. (We'll just talk about good things. If I told you the bad things, this would be a much longer post.) There will be a lack of pictures, though. Sorry for the boringness. We suck at family pictures.

Jess. He's the oldest. He's incredible confident (in a good way) and is a wonderful example of rolling with the punches. No matter what life throws at him, he smiles, laughs, and keeps looking forward to the promises God has given him.

Sarah is incredibly hard working and has great trust in the Lord. I admire the gusto the fulfills her callings, especially as she has served with the young women.

Christina is the furthest from everyone (except for myself) but she tries to hard to be involved in our lives. She reminds me of the importance of upkeeping family relationships. Just because you live several hours away doesn't mean you automatically are out of people's lives.

Michael. This kid does not give up - yes, I refer to my older brother as a kid. He taught me how to be a kid while being an adult. It's brought a whole lot more joy in my life. He has shown me the importance of true humility, of apologizing, and of seeking help with the burdens we bear.

Seth. He helped inspire me to become the pianist I am today (ahem, the pianist I was about 3 years ago. I'm not as good as I used to be). He strives to keep the covenants that he has made. Good, better, best is put before him, and he chooses the best, according to what he knows and understands.

Robert. He's given me ridiculously high expectations for how a husband should treat his wife. Dutiful, generous with his time, not above doing pretty much anything that is asked of him. I think he patterns himself after the stripling warriors who lived a life of exact obedience. (Cue all the sassy remarks from my family. Don't worry guys,, I know, he's not perfect. You can bite back the sass. :) )

Lisa. She has incredible patience, and she is always happy. She also lets me use her Netflix. All the bonus points there. When I was home, she would put forth the effort to include me in her life, from book club, to Target trips that I never was able to go on, to Bahama Bucks runs.

Amy. She took care of me my freshman year, and then let me take care of her, when I could. Life may not be easy, and her kids may be psychotic (except for sweet little Lyndie) but she still manages to find the moments to laugh. (Her texts are the best.)

Their spouses are pretty great too. I don't have enough time to write about them ALL, because I have another point that I want to make, and this is already a long blog post. (But don't feel bad, guys. I have all eternity to tell you guys how awesome you are.You'll have your moment.)

Sometimes God gives us siblings to help us through life. We don't have a choice in these siblings. Then, sometimes God gives us other people. He gives us friends. Did you know that friendship is incredible important for child development? True friendship  happens at about 6 years old. Much of an adolescent's development and choices will be because of the friends they have. For me? My friends have made all the difference in my life.

We have this incredible doctrine where we know that we are all children of Heavenly Father. What does that mean? Well...lots of things, honestly. But one of the things that it means, is that we are all spirit brothers and sisters. Heavenly father sometimes gives us friends because our family needs expanding. In reality, over the years, my already large family has increased greatly, and not just because marriages and baby births.

Readers of my blog have read about Dani and Emmie, roommates of mine (if you haven't, you can read about them here and here). They are among some of those who I have come to consider sisters.

Shayla Clifton. She demolished my bubble (would you believe it, I actually let people - that I know, that is - touch me when I sit next to them? There doesn't have to be that buffer of space. I mean, that's still preferable, but not exactly necessary.) and lets me serve her. She puts up with me when I nerd out, when I rant, or when I get on my soap box. She is my sister.

James Pope. I may have liked him pretty hardcore for awhile (whoops, do you read my posts James? Confession time, I suppose) but as our friendship has increased and strengthened, he has become my brother. We say things as they are to each other. We support, encourage, listen to, and validate each other. 

Kathleen Heidt. I remember my first semester of college as an awkward little freshman, not real sure about the college scene and living on my own, and there was Kathleen. All of my roommates were pretty rocking in Flagstaff, but Kathleen was my homie. I would third-wheel with her and Raymond. She put up with my complaining ways. We may go for months without talking, but whenever we have the chance to meet up, we literally talk for hours. She is my sister. (And Raymond is my brother. Evident from the moment he tackled me to the ground and gave me raspberries, like I was a small child, per suggestion of Kathleen.)

Katelyn Rasmussen. We may have only gone on two exchanges on the mission, but we bonded over our love of pizza. I never think of exchanges more often than those two (partially because I frequently consider the idea of dumpster diving at Little Caeser's after they close). She taught me so much in her first two transfers, as I was in my last two transfers, and she continued to teach me as she continued her mission while I was home. Despite very little actual interaction with her, she is my sister.

ANYWAYS. Moral of the story: I love people. One of my favorite blessings from Heavenly Father is the group of people He has blessed me with. My family. Family through blood, through marriage, and through life experiences. I have 8 incredible siblings, 8 fantastic in laws, and so many friends that I haven't mentioned who have impacted my life. 

Joseph Smith taught that, in heaven, we will have the same sociality that we have in this life. Family will be family. Friends will be friends. In other words, the relationships we have gained in this life, they last for eternity! Those friendships that become something incredibly more and stronger, they are blessed by God. You may not be sealed in the temple, you may not have God making covenants with you about those relationships, but they are blessed. 

Family is awesome. Friends are great. I need human interaction so I can stop being sappy. 

What makes your family (blood or by choice) so great? Please share in the comments. :)

Giving up

For some reason, this song popped into my head yesterday. It was SUPER random, but because of that, I've been thinking about it and what it's about.

The first time I heard this song, I thought it was super depressing - I mean, she definitely gives the song a somber sound. But, then I really listened to the words. It's not about giving up on a relationship because it got hard. Instead, it's giving up all the what if's and the could be's in life and choosing the relationship over everything else.

"But I am giving up, for you."

Thinking about this made me wonder about who we love and who we love more than the what if's in our lives.

Someone asks you for help. Do you say yes, even though you have the "what if I don't have enough time to finish my homework afterwards?" Or do you always put that what if in front of their need?

Your niece or nephew asks you to go to one of their performances. Do you go even though you have the "what if it's boring?" or the "what if someone asks me to do something better that day?" Or do you put those what if's in front of their desire to be able to feel your support?

Most important, when we feel the calling of the Lord, do we answer with a resounding "YES!" or do we think of all the possible what if's and fail to accept it?

There are many what if's that we face in this life that can get in the way of our relationship with God. What if I fail? What if it's too hard? What if I'm not good enough? What if I'm wrong? What if I get made fun of? What if I'm rejected? What if it's a waste of time?

God asks for a relationship with us. He promises greater strength. He promises never-ending happiness. He promises greatness. He promises love. He promises greater abilities.

All He asks for in response? For us to give up for Him. Give up our weaknesses. Give up our own desires for His. Give up our what if's and doubts.

Can you give up for Him?

A message to my future kids: The power of one

In my child development class, we've been talking about social development. Friends are pretty dang important for our development. When we're an infant to early childhood, playmates and interaction with others helps us learn. In middle childhood, friendship becomes an important thing. Then, adolescence, it becomes incredibly important, as they tend to spend more time with their friends and their social groups than their families. Friends become  their secret keepers, their confidants, the people they learn to share the deepest pieces of themselves.

But, it wasn't about friendship that I learned the most about.

Bullying is a real problem in any school you will ever go to. If there are kids, there will be bullying of some sort. In my youth, I regretfully participated in some. Also in my youth, I stuck up for those same kids. I wasn't consistent.

What really gets me, though, is that I had power. I had the power to stop that bullying. I may not have been super popular in elementary school, but I was definitely well-liked. I had a certain level of respect from the kids, partially because most of them knew who my mom was, partially because I was super confident, and partially because I was a little bit arrogant in both of those things. But, I had power. Power that I didn't quite recognize.

In reality, each child, adolescent, adult even, has power. Most of us to not like bullying. Most of the time it makes us feel uncomfortable to witness it. If we participate in it, we tend to feel bad later - only true bullies feel no regret. (Of course, they can grow out of it. But in the immediate time after the bullying, they don't feel bad about it.) But, most of the time, we don't do anything about it. Why? I think it's because we feel powerless.

Did you know that if one single person stands up for a person being bullied, whether it's telling off the bully, comforting the bullied, or inviting the bullied into your circle of friends, others will join you? They will jump at that opportunity to help. The minute they see someone else helping, they will step in also.

The reason why most people don't step up initially? I believe it's because they don't feel they have power.

But, here's the thing: it only takes one person. And then, chances are, you won't be alone.

Be the one to step up. Be the one to show that you aren't ok with the bullying that's happening. Do something. You have power! This is a message I hope my children are able to learn from me.

But, it is not just from me that this lesson can be learned. There is One who showed that there is power is the one. His name is Jesus Christ.

Jesus Christ always stood up for the one who was disliked. He always told off the bullies. He always invited people to join Him. And, He often did it by Himself. Sure, He had disciples. Sure, He had His apostles. But He always was that one who acted first.

Not only did He stand up for the bullied and for the friendless. He also stood up for all of us.

He was the One who stood for our sins, our trials, our sorrows, our pains. He showed that one person can change the world. He showed that the power of one can bring light, can bring joy, can bring kindness.

And, He stood alone so that, in those moments where we choose act alone, when we choose to act first, we will never truly be alone. He will be there with us. Thus, the power of one becomes the power of being one. Being one with our Redeemer and Savior.

Today is Easter. The day that we celebrate the One being raised from the dead, so would never have to be alone again. We have an eternity filled with friends and with families.

And I only have one word to describe my gratitude for such a thing:

Hallelujah! 

The Father of lies

Today in Sunday School, we were talking about the illusions that Satan feeds us when I was reminded of a song I was introduced to while I was on my mission. The song is from the perspective of Satan and he sings the lies he tries so hard to convince us of.



I love pretty much every aspect and lyric of this song, but my favorite is the chorus. The chorus is, "But I won't tell you about the God in Heaven who loves you, who yearns for you. And I won't tell you about the freedom of forgiveness and truth. Why would I tell you the truth?"

Our entire lives, the adversary is working so hard to lull us into a false sense of security. He's trying to get us to be complacent, to become hardened, to become oblivious. All of these things for the purpose of forgetting one thing: that God is our loving Heavenly Father who wants us to return to live with Him again.

Heavenly Father is invested in our lives. Satan doesn't want us to know that. Heavenly Father sent Jesus Christ to save us, to forgive us, and to enable us. Satan does want us to believe that. Heavenly Father intends for us to become like Him; that is our fullest potential. Satan wants us to believe that is blasphemy.

One of my favorite scriptures in existence is Romans 8:16-17:
The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirits, that we are the children of God: And if children, then heirs; heirs of God and joint-heirs with Christ; if it so be that we suffer with him that we might be also glorified together.

The reason why I love this scripture so much is because, one, it tells us who we are and what we can become: We are children of God, and we are meant to inherit all that He has. We are His heirs. 

I also love it because it tells us the nature of God and the rest of the Godhead. God is our father. He sends the Spirit to teach us of the love He has for us and who we are. Christ makes it possible for us to reach that potential we have within us. These are the things Satan doesn't want us to know!

You are a fantastic human  being. Yes, you, who is reading this. Because you are of royal birth. Don't let the lies of the adversary tell you anything different!

A tribute to my friends

The past few days, I've been thinking a lot about the people in my life. Sometimes, this is how I feel:

Sometimes I'm straight up weirded out by the fact I have friends. I mean, how does it even happen? Like, there's this person I decide is pretty chill and that they might be fun to hang out with, and then all of a sudden, we have this affection for each other, and we decide we're going to do whatever we can to help each other out. Like, how does that even happen?

Friendships are hugely important to me, and I've become increasingly grateful for the friendships that I have been blessed with. 

There is a scripture that talks about friendships that I super love:

Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend - Proverbs 27:17

My friends do a lot to shape who I am - and I know I do the same for my friends. (I mean, just ask my roommates. Last semester, I got a lot of them saying "fetch." Pretty much all of them now say, "Your face," after some random comment. Dani now eats about twice as much food as she used to, because I eat so much food all the time.) 

Because of this influence we have on others, it is important for us to be aware of the impression we are leaving on people. Are we rubbing off our good qualities? Or are our bad habits our legacy? Do we encourage virtues or vices? 

My friends are pretty much my favorite things on this planet. I treasure the friendships I have, because Heavenly Father has blessed me with incredible people. They have "sharpened" me. Much of my becoming is influenced by my friends.

It is incredibly important to choose your friends wisely, because they DO have a very real influence on us. Do they sharpen your countenance to reflect the Savior, or do they dull you? Do they make you shine brighter, or do they chase the light out of you? And what kind of friend are you? Do you uplift, or do you take away? The reason why I express such great love for my friends is because each and every one of them fill me with light. 

Over the past few months, here are a few things I have learned and have been "sharpened" by:

• seeking the Lord's will and putting it before your own
• forgiveness
• a willingness to serve
• it's important to smile
• when you love someone, you pray for them
• express your love
• apologize
• you don't have to know someone well to care about them

It's not the best quality picture, but here are some of the lovelies that I have in my life currently. In our spare time, even though we were tired, had been on our feet all morning, and wanted to be in back in Rexburg, we went to Temple Square, because that desire trumped all. See? They fill me with light.

How do your friends uplift you and make you a better person? (Comment, please. Legit brag about your friends, or I'm going to think that y'all don't have friends as cool as mine and then my friends will get full of themselves!)

To save the world

One of the little classes I teach at the after school program I work at is creative writing. The first class of the session I talked about how stories can change the world. Thus, one should write to change the world. We have stories like Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Percy Jackson, Fablehaven, the Books of Bayern, and so many more. All of these have the capability to uplift, inspire, and empower. 

Harry Potter taught me the importance of friendship and loyalty. Lord of the Rings taught me the importance of doing hard things and of looking for adventures. Star Wars taught me the importance of holding to the light and chasing your dreams. Percy Jackson taught me the importance of standing for and fighting for what you believe in, despite the odds against you. Fablehaven taught me to see the wonder all around me and to always be curious. The Books of Bayern taught me the importance of love and trust.

When I was telling my little class that stories can change the world, and that meant that they could change the world, one of the girls was skeptical. She asked, "How can I change the world with just a story?" She couldn't quite grasp the impact she could have.

I am very passionate about the idea of being able to change the world. It only takes the frailest of lights to illuminate the darkness surrounding it. This idea is essentially what is driving me to do what I am doing with my life now. 

Now, this doesn't mean that I believe that I'm going to cause this incredible change in millions of people. It means that I believe that I can impact the people within my circle. And I'm hoping that my future profession - whether as a wife, a mother, a researcher, or psychologist - can not only increase that circle but also enhance my ability to impact people. 

We live in a society where we either look too much at the big picture, thinking on too grandiose of a scale or we look too small and don't realize the power we have as individuals. 

You can change the world. You change the world one person at a time. You make an impact on one person, think of how many people THAT person comes in contact with. My parents raised 9 kids. If that was their ONLY contribution to the world, think of how many people we 9 kids have come in contact with. 4 of us went on missions. 7 are parents. All of us are in different wards, holding different callings. We all have friends. We live across 3 different states. There are so many opportunities for meeting people. Thus, my parents have changed the world, simply by raising us. Not to mention their youth, their callings, and their professions. 

To change the world, you need only help be an influence of good for one person. 

I would invite you to be aware of the people you are with. I can promise you that when you start focusing on the people you spend time with, that you will begin to see the impact you can make. When you are with someone, BE with them. Listen to them, be kind to them, love them, and support them in their times of need. When you change their world you enable them to change the worlds of the people around them as well.

Who is someone who changed your world? What they did they do? Please leave a comment. :) Also, go and tell that person what they have done for you.

If you know of someone who can benefit from this message, please share this post.

My testimony of a book

My very first post on this blog was about how I wanted to write about becoming. Part of the purpose of this life is to become and reach our fullest potential. I, obviously, am still on that path. I feel like my blog has lost a little bit of that focus. Not completely, but I want to bring it back a little bit.

So, I want to tell you a little bit about a book that has helped me a lot in my process of becoming. Many of you, I'm sure, are familiar with it. It's called The Book of Mormon.

I love the Book of Mormon - well, I love just all the scriptures in general. My love for the Book of Mormon stems from what it teaches me about my Savior. The Bibles teaches a lot about Christ's life, especially the New Testament. The Old Testament is full of prophecies and types of Christ, to teach us about Him. But, then there is the Book of Mormon which also teaches me about His character. By reading this wonderful book, I have come to understand the nature of Him, and how I can come closer to that nature.

The Book of Mormon has also helped me feel joy when not much else could. It has been the tool for revelation. It has taught me how to be a better person. It has invited the Spirit into my life. It has brought me comfort.

The Book of Mormon has helped me to become something more. I read about people like Ammon, and Alma who changed so much, because they learned about the Savior, and then spent the rest of their lives trying to help people experience the same thing. I read about Nephi who had courage and was obedient. I read about Captain Moroni, who diligently defended what he thought was right and always counseled with the Lord. These people made me want to be more and taught me how.

This video shows a little bit more about the Book of Mormon, and the power it can have:




Those of you reading this post who have read the Book of Mormon before, what has the Book of Mormon done for you? (this is something I've been wanting to try out. I'm going to try to start asking questions in my posts. I'm grateful for people who take the time to read them, so I want to hear your thoughts as well. Please leave a comment)

Also, please, if you have felt the spirit, or maybe know of people who could benefit from this, share this post. I'm not in it to get more viewers. I'm just hoping my words can make a difference. At the very least, I invite you to find someone - anyone, a roommate, a sibling, a friend - to share your testimony of the Book of Mormon with. You never know who might need uplifting.

It's beginning to look a lot like spring

It's not quite spring, yet, but lately, I've been feeling an awful lot like the owl from Bambi. Do you know what I'm talking about? I mean this:

Owl is making fun of his woodland friends and mocking the whole "twitterpated" thing. Then, those same woodland friends become twitterpated, and then the mocking stops and he becomes like this:

All the frustration that his friends seem to abandon him because of twitterpation. (Did I just make up that word? Possibly.)

A little while ago, some of my friends in Rexburg either began dating someone or they and another person shared mutual attraction. This left me chilling like a single pringle. It actually made me feel a little bit lonely. (Don't worry. This is NOT going to be a sad, whiny post. That's not what this is about.) It was kind of hard to deal with. Being single is never a fun experience, especially in an atmosphere like BYU-I. 

Let me share with you some words of wisdom from MIKA, though, that have helped me keep the right perspective. 

The entirety of MIKA's song, Lollipop, is about being careful with how you invest your love. Not that you shouldn't invest your love, but you must be careful.

What I mean by this, I think is best illustrated by a line from his song. "Live your life until love is found, or love's gonna get you down."

Sometimes we start looking for love, for that relationship hardcore. This can quickly lead to heartache and pain. This is because, sometimes, we are just not ready. The timing isn't right. Or, who even knows! God's plan is supreme, not mine, thank goodness!

But, the principle is there: live your life. Just keep living your life. Don't put it on hold - ever. Not even for love. Love shouldn't put your life on hold, it should enhance it, it should enliven it, and it should progress it. 

If you're a little lost in the world of love, while you, too, are chilling like a single pringle, just keep living your life. If you start looking for love, you'll lose opportunities. That's not to say that you shouldn't be aware of those around you. Date, by all means! But don't let a lack of love or a lack of relationship get you down. Don't be defined by that. It'll turn you frustrated and bitter. Trust me, I know from experience. 

Live you're life. Keep progressing. Move towards God and fulfill your purpose. As you do so, you will find love. I believe that to be true with all my heart!

Rule the World

I'll say this: for the vast majority of the time, I don't understand dance/choreography. And music videos usually are pretty wack. But I like the part of the music video where she jumps through the wall. I feel like it pretty accurately symbolizes everything about this song.

In case you guys haven't picked up on it, I love everything about the concept of chasing your dreams. That's why I have fallen in love with song (plus, it's by Walk off the Earth, and I'm pretty positive they're the most talented group of individuals ever to have been in a band).

Sometimes you get in funks. Sometimes you read chapters in textbooks that explain what applying for grad school entails, and you wonder if it really is worth it, because the application process sounds just as complicated as your current semester is in its 14 week entirety. Sometimes people don't see your dreams and goals as significant or worth it. They say no while you're trying to say go.

But, we should be trying to rule the world. I mean, not like Pinky and the Brain idea of ruling the world. But, rule your world. Break down those walls. Go, go, go. Chase your dreams. Push those limits and accomplish something incredible. Because we are meant to be incredible! We are meant to rule the world; don't let life get you down, don't let it spiral out of control. Take it by the horns, jump on it, and then feel that rush of living your life the way that YOU want, the way it's supposed to be lived.

"They say no way, oh, I say I'll rule the world!
Ain't afraid of those walls, Imma break 'em down."

"I say yeah, yeah, yeah, they say no, no, no,
They say slow, slow slow, I say go, go, go!"

If you have a dream, chase it. If you want to do something with your life, do it. If you want to have an adventure, go on one. If you want to change the world, change it!

Don't listen to people who tell you that you can't do something. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life. Just go and rule the world.

3 Years

A few days ago, there were a few people who posted about receiving their mission call 3 years ago. When I saw those posts, I was reminded of the pain and anguish I experience waiting an extra three days for my mission call to come. For whatever reason, my call got delayed or lost in the mail. It was assigned the same times as everyone else's, but came later.

I remember that anticipation; I was expecting it Friday. It didn't come. I was heartbroken. Saturday, my Bishop assured me it would be in that mailbox. I walked back to my apartment empty handed and distraught. Yes, I was definitely being dramatic, but I was literally living for my mission, at that point. But, I thought, maybe, just maybe, everyone else's got delayed. After texting a friend of mine, who was just a few hours away, I realized that something had happened to delay my call. And I was going to have to suffer through a long weekend, as the next Monday was President's Day; thus, no mail.

3 years ago, I walked down my stairs, headed towards my mailbox, turned the key, and found my dream, sitting there. I don't know if there ever was a time that I ran faster than at that moment.

3 years ago, I opened that envelope, having no idea what was in store for me. I read those words, "You have been assigned to labor in the Washington Tacoma Mission." I paused for about half a second after reading that, and I can still remember the feeling that came over me as I thought about it. It was a feeling of peace, a feeling of assurance, of confidence. I knew that mission was the mission for me.

3 years later, I've been home for well over a year. I've transferred universities. I've changed my life plans. I've made new friends. I've become a different person - the same person, but different.

3 years later, I still can't help but smile when I think of opening my call, or being in Washington, or wearing that nametag, or living my dream of being a sister missionary.

3 years later, I have nothing in my heart but gratitude that I had the courage, the faith, and the willingness to wait and then serve.

3 years ago, my life changed. 3 years later,  I have become. And I am still becoming.

525,600 Minutes

Sometimes I blog instead of doing homework. And I wonder why I have stress in my life...

But every since yesterday, I've had this song in my head. I was sitting in Sunday School, and the teacher bore powerful testimony of the importance of love, showing love in our lives, and making it a part of our every day lives.

So, how do you measure the life of a person? Is it in their many accomplishments? Is it based off the fact they got straight A's their entire academic life? Or how they headed the most successful business of the decade? Or is it by how they lead a family in love? Or how they showed kindness and expressed love to everyone they came in contact with?

Think back on the people you remember most in your life. Is it the most successful people? Or do you best remember the people who made you feel loved? Do you remember the super popular kids who were popular simply because of status? Or do you remember the people who took time for you?

Well, if you're anything like me, you remember the people who were most filled with love; the people who took the time to smile at you, talk with you, the people who were - or still are! - your best friends.

We have 86,400 seconds a day to show our love for those around us. We have 525,600 minutes in a year to love deeply and show people that love. What are you doing to make the most of that time? Are you wasting it?

I have an invitation for all of you who read this blog. (All like, what, 10 of you?) This is February. The month of love. But, there is so many different kinds of love. Why does it have to be about romantic love? What about brotherly love? Or the simple love we have for mankind, the love we feel for that random stranger who smiled at you when you were down in the dumps? Love for our Heavenly Father. It's the month of love. So, take the opportunity, each day, to express love to someone - or at least about something! Find things to love about your day. Today, I love that my Book of Mormon class gave me something to think about and ponder concerning certain struggles I have. I love that Brother Baron is so filled with the spirit and is so knowledgeable about the Gospel and takes his job seriously, so that I can learn what I need to learn. I love him for that.

Please, accept this invitation, my friends! I know that as you find things to love about your life and about those around you, you will be filled with even greater love. And that, in turn, will help you feel an increase of love from your Heavenly Father. And, if you accept this invitation and express love, give someone else that invitation, so that more of this world can be focused on love.

When Life Gives you Ice Skating, be a T-Rex

Fun fact about me: I'm AWFUL at ice skating. Like, the only way for me to stay upright is if I'm actually full on clinging to someone, which, if anyone knows me well, is usually a pretty uncomfortable experience. So, either I fall all the time and get bruised up the wazoo or I let someone into my bubble (WAY into my bubble). Needless to say, I don't often go ice skating, nor do I particularly enjoy it, the majority of the time.

So, when I saw this video, I had to give this T-Rex mad props. Every time he fell, he got right back up, maybe struggling a bit, but never giving up.

I felt like this T-Rex's experience was a bit like my life right now. Sometimes appearing to be doing just absolutely amazing (like, seriously, all that spinning and whatnot. Talent) but then just biffing it hardcore, randomly in the middle of the impressive skating.

I started this semester with great confidence. I finished last semester with straight A's. I was feeling pretty good. I felt like I could conquer the world, and that the semester was going to be busy, but a huge success. I was like that T-Rex doing all sorts of talented ice skating.

Next thing I knew, I was flat on the ice, lying on my back, trying to figure out what happened. My life is a straight up mess right now. I barely have enough time to finish my assignments, let alone feel like I'm earning solid grades on everything. I'm struggling to actually be a little bit social because that's like, emotionally healthy, but with all the homework I have, it simply adds more stress to try to be social. I rarely go to bed at a decent time, because of the amount of homework I have. And, when I do get to bed early, I can't sleep, because my brain decides to think about all the things I'm stressed and worried about. I have papers looming over my head that I haven't started yet, because I've been busy with all my other assignments and reading.

That's just my academic stresses. I'm constantly stressed, worried, and tired. Sometimes I legitimately wonder what it might be to just...stop. Give up. Just live the rest of my life as a server at a restaurant or something. Zero pressure and pretty decent money. That's a good life, right??

Eh...or I could just be like that T-Rex, and get back up. Heck, the guy struggled to just get on the ice, but he did and then never stopped trying. And he had some pretty sweet successes along the way, despite the falls.

So, next time you find yourself ice skating, and you fall flat on your back, don't give up. Just be like that T-Rex. Get back up. Try again. You'll find yourself making some pretty sweet moves along the way.

(Also, please watch that video about 3 more times. I die of laughter every time.)

Blessed are the Peacemakers

I've been thinking a lot about peace lately. My life is often stressful (usually by my own making, to be honest. I don't think I know how to function without feeling some amount of stress in my life) and lately, it's been a little overwhelming. It's a bit of a crazy semester, and I honestly don't know how I'm going to get everything done that is required of me - let alone the things I WANT to do!

So, peace is something that I want in my life. The ability to, in the midst of all the craziness and business, just feel at peace, instead of panic or crippling stress. The very beginning of the year, as I was pondering what I wanted to focus on learning this year, kind of what I wanted the theme to be, peace came to mind. As things go kind of crazy and messy, within the first two weeks of school, I felt buoyed up by the fact that Heavenly Father, beforehand, prepped me. He knew that I would need, and crave, peace.

Fun fact about me: when I'm with my friends, I LOVE to push their buttons. For example, one of my roommates last semester would have this little glare that usually just made me bust up laughing. So, I would make it my goal to say something sassy or do something that would make her glare. Another roommate, I just LOVED to get her riled up. I never wanted to get her full-blown mad, because that's just mean, but I loved just irritating her with little tiny things. More than once, though, I pushed to far, didn't stop when I should have, and caused contention to exist in the apartment. I love to be sassy and sarcastic. With that, though, comes the danger of driving away peace.

Today, in my scripture reading, I came across 3 Nephi 12:9. This is when Christ is visiting the Nephites, and he gives a sermon similar to the sermon on the mount. He says, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God."

I crave peace, but I often am not a peacemaker. I often incite contention instead of driving it away. In the chapter just earlier, Christ says, "he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention..." (3 Nephi 11:29).

Now, I'm not saying that I'm of the devil or anything. Sometimes we, as humans, just get a little bit carried away, but I just want to point out what these two verses teach, when put together. Contention=Satan. Peace=God. When we have the spirit of contention about us, we are following after the desires of the adversary. This is completely contrary to our nature as children of God. That's why, when we peacemakers, is says that we will be called the children of God. Because God is the author of peace, and it is by following our nature - as His divine children - that we can be peacemakers. We are called His children because we are following His design, we are following His character, and we are trying to be like Him.

So, to all of you reading this, I would just like to invite you strive to bring a little bit more peace into the lives of those around you. I'm super grateful for those in my life who have been peacemakers. They have helped to bring an added measure of the spirit into my life. In this world to tumult and chaos, we need a little bit more peace, and we all need to put forth just a little more effort to help bring that peace. We need a little less contention, a little less judgement, and a lot more peace.