#TBT The necklace

The last transfer of my mission I had a very special experience that, in reality, had nothing to do with missionary work. But it is still one of my favorite missionary memories.

My companion had lost a necklace while we were out tracting. This wasn't just any necklace. She had worn this necklace literally every single day of her mission. It somehow managed to fall off her neck while we were standing on someone's deck. It fell between the wooden boards. We ended up getting down on our hands and knees to try to see if it was retrievable. It...seemed impossible. We couldn't even see it and the set up of the deck was just ridiculous. So we walked away and I think my companion pretty much resigned herself to the fact she was never going to see it again. Which was kind of a big deal to her.

For some reason, though, the necklace was often in the back of my mind. I remember when we realized what had happened praying a short and simple, yet earnest, prayer. And feeling a great conviction that we would get it back.

A few weeks after losing it, we happened to be on exchange. I was in our area with a sister who had been companions with my companions a year previous. All our plans had fallen through, and, frustrated, I looked around, hoping some inspiration would come. I suddenly realized that where we were was the neighborhood where the necklace was lost. I turned to the sister with me and quickly explained the situation. She knew how important the necklace was to my companion. And, even though I admitted that it probably was a lost cause, she agreed to make the effort to try ONE more time to see if we could get it back.

So, we knock on the door. A man answers and we quickly explain that a necklace had fallen the last time we knocked on his door, and we were just hoping to see if there was any way we could get it back. The man, with a concerned look on his face, said we could check, and ran inside to get a flashlight to help us out. After a few minutes of looking and looking, the man suddenly said, "Well, I actually think if I go through on the side, there's enough room for me to crawl under the porch and then I can see if I can find it.

We were astonished as this man, a stranger, got down onto the ground so that he could army crawl through the dirt and cobwebs to find this necklace. As he went further and further, finding nothing, I prayed fervently. He finally got to the end and said, "I'm sorry, I'm just not seeing it." I was devastated, yet there was still this lingering hope, and then he continued, saying, "There is just one more spot I can't see. I'll go a little bit more and check it out." My silent prayers became so earnest that I literally started whispering "Please, please!" outloud.

Then...his next words were, "I've got it!" And we saw him reach forward and pick up the necklace. My companion's necklace. At that instant I was filled with an intense love. I understood at that moment just how much God loved my companion, how much He loved me, and the sister that was with me. God cared enough about us that our prayers about this little necklace were answered. He cared enough to inspire that kind, kind man to go above and beyond what most people would be willing to do. He cared enough to help us retrieve that necklace.

Such a simple experience, yet a very powerful one for me. This experience reminds me of some of the things that I am most grateful for - and seeing as this is  Thanksgiving, I felt this was appropriate :) - such as the knowledge I have of my Father in Heaven, and how much He loves me. The knowledge of my Savior, and what He did for me and for everyone - because He loves us. This Gospel and how it teaches me to live in faith so that I can witness miracles, big and small. And, the knowledge that Heavenly Father hears and answers prayers. It's true! It is SO true! I promise. :)

Better Than a Hallelujah

As I was driving to work this morning, I happened to be listening to Calee Reed, and this song started playing. I've always loved this song, but I started thinking a little bit deeper about this song.



The reason why I love this song: to me it signifies how much God just wants us to turn to Him. I believe the moments that are the sweetest to Him are when people, instead of turning to the world like they have time and time again, instead choose to turn to Him. It's like the story of the Prodigal Son. The father was so joyous that his son had returned and celebrated it! While, the entire time he had his other song with him. He didn't love his faithful son any less. Not at all! But it was simply a sweet moment for him, that he couldn't help but celebrate. His son, once lost, was found.



When we pour out our souls to God, He rejoices. "We pour out our miseries, God just hears a melody." He loves it because we are turning to Him when we have so many options to turn to.



"Beautiful, the mess we are." God doesn't care how small our problems may be. Or how big they are. He listens to them. All of them. If we take the time to talk with Him, He listens intently. Because He .. cares about us. He loves us deeply. He sees the beauty in the mess our lives may be.



Today at work, I began to get really flustered. I made a few mistakes that, luckily, was able to stay between me and the customer, but I was super stressed about it. Shortly after, the few mistakes, while I was still feeling flustered, I was given another large party. I remember throwing up a short, yet mighty prayer, pleading for help to be calm and that I wouldn't make a fool of myself again. The rest of the day went super smooth. I was calm. I was fine. And I ended my shift super solid, knowing that God had heard, listened to, and answered my prayer.



Although, for just a little while, I was  mess, God still saw the beauty in me and cared enough to help me.



Some of my most joyous experiences are when I witnessed someone turning to God when everything in their life was pulling them away - addictions, tragedies, cruelties. Those moments were better than a hallelujah.

#TBT His Eyes

When I was in the temple today, I was reminded of a poem I wrote years ago. And it wasn't just the poem I remembered. It was what inspired the poem. I was sitting in church. The hymn we were singing before the sacrament was "I Stand All-Amazed." I love this hymn. It expresses the feelings of my heart in regards to my Savior. I was feeling particularly grateful for Him that day and I was thinking about the life He led. The things He suffered for me, both my sins and my pains.

The line, "I think of His hands pierced and bleeding to pay the debt," stuck out to me this particular time, and I looked down at my own hands, with their own marks and scars, thinking of how painful it was when I got one specific scar. And I began forming lines to a poem in my head.

Poems are a rarity for me, but they form when I'm feeling very strongly about something. I often feel that they are a way the spirit helps me put into words my testimony. Here is the poem that formed that day.

His Eyes

I look at my hands,
I look at the scars.
I look at the feet
That have carried me far.

I look at my face
With both beauties and flaws
Then I look at my eyes
But there I must pause.

So there I do look,
And hope that I see
A deep, shining light
That has often led me.

I see this great light
In leaders, friends, kids.
I look in my eyes
And hope it's not hid.

This wonderful light,
It's the light of Christ.
It's the light of the man
Who paid a great price.

One gloomy, dark night,
This wonderful man
Carried a great burden
That no other man can.

The very next morn
After the burden so great,
He died on a cross
To help our own fate.

I live my life so,
Maybe someday,
Words of gratitude, praise,
Words of love I can say.

I want to be worth
To tell Him these words.
So, in this long journey,
The light, I'll go towards.

So on that great day
When, face to face, we'll meet,
I'll fall on my knees,
With joy, Him I'll greet.

I'll look at His hands,
I'll look at the scars.
I'll look at the feet
That have helped me go far.

I'll look at His face
With just beauty, no flaws.
Then I'll look in His eyes,
And there, I will pause.

And I hope, will all hope
He will look back at me
And say, "Little sister,
I see me in thee."

I know I will weep,
And I hope He will say,
"Little sister, well done.
You've returned home today." 

One Month

One month ago, I was on a plane that took me from Washington back to Arizona. Before I got on that plane, I had been in the state of Washington for 18 months. There, I wore a skirt everyday, got up at 6:30, went to bed a 10:30, read my scriptures and prayed every single day, knocked on strangers' doors, and walked for miles in the rain.

There I learned what I feared. But, there I learned to conquer fear. There I felt the power of the Spirit in ways I had never before felt. There I had my weaknesses exposed. But, there I learned to not be my weaknesses, but to, instead, rely on my Savior to help me overcome  my weaknesses. There I met people who will be written on my heart forever. There I made changes that I never want to see disappear. There I fell in love with the colors green and gray. Because of my time there I yearn to feel the rain pour down on me. There, I came to understand what it truly means to be a child of God.

One month ago, I was a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, serving my Savior, Jesus Christ full-time. Except it was more than just 40 hour work day. It was from when I woke up at 6:30 till I went to bed at 10:30. And then, sometimes, even in my dreams, I would receive revelation that would help me to serve in greater capacities. One month ago I was living my dream. The dream I had since age 4 to serve a mission that came true because of the wonderful age change announcement October 2012.

Things I miss from my mission:

• My mission peeps
• Having a constant purpose to every waking moment of my life, and that purpose being to SERVE. To serve God and my brothers and sisters
• Feeling the mantle - it's a real thing. It's much harder to maintain that level of the spirit.
• Wearing the nametag.
• 2 hours of study every day
• Super awesome meetings all the time, surrounded by super awesome missionaries
• Having a companion/best friend with me ALL THE TIME!
• BEING A MISSIONARY!

But...life is still ok as a normal person. There are many blessings and many positives. Things I get to enjoy since being home:

• Getting to jam out to music that is still wholesome but NOT church related.
• Getting to hold small children like my nieces and nephews
• Making money
• Getting to progress in life - like earning money so I can go to back to COLLEGE and LEARN!!
• Still being able to do service, but now I'm not limited. I can do whatever service I want, whenever I want.
• Not being limited on miles.
• Skyping whenever I want.
• Getting to text or call whoever I want (unless they're another missionary currently in the WA-TAC...) whenever I want
• Wearing pants ALL THE TIME!!
• Going to the temple every week.
• Getting to be by myself.
• Getting to read Harry Potter.

Pretty much...life has been pretty crazy the past month, I still miss my mission so bad, that it sometime is just like this...aching in my heart. But I can't deny the blessings. I can't deny all that God has given me in the past month to help me be successful and to help me achieve my goals and dreams, and to help me to fulfill my purpose. Just because I'm no longer a full-time missionary doesn't mean I don't get to serve the Lord. It doesn't mean I still don't grow and get to witness the Spirit change people's hearts. Despite the fact that I am no longer on a mission, each day is still a day of becoming. Coming home didn't change that. Coming home isn't stopping me being me. So...why fret. Why worry. Why desire something more?

I love my mission. I will never stop thinking about it or stop loving it or stop missing it. But I am excited to see what the next month will bring. And the next year. The next 18 months. Who will I have become? It's definitely worth it.

#TBT March 2, 2013

This morning I was able to go to the temple. Man, you guys, I seriously love it there. As I was there, my mind went back to when I was able to go through the temple for the first time. I remember some of the distinct feelings that I had.

 I was a little bit overwhelmed. It was all so new, yet...it wasn't.

I was in awe. In awe of the beauty, in awe of the covenants I was making, in awe of the feeling I had.

I was pumped. I felt like I could take on the world. Like I could overcome anything Satan had to throw at me.

I felt peace. I felt love. I felt happiness.

My friends, the temple is such a special place. Today while I was there, the spirit was able to teach me and remind me of several important things. One of them was the emphasis of why we are here. We are truly here to become like our Heavenly Father. We are here to learn and to grow - and to have JOY. If you're not happy, you're doing something wrong - it's not that your life sucks, it's that YOU are doing something wrong. Now, of course, there are things like depression and whatnot...put chemical imbalances of the brain aside, if you feel like your life sucks or that you're not as happy as you should be...there is something more that you can be doing. That may not mean working more or changing something big in your life. It may be something like being more grateful. Expressing your love for people more often. Being a little bit kinder. Reading your scriptures a little bit more often or maybe a little bit longer. Listening to good music. Super simple things. These things can bring joy.

Anyways, I just wanted to take the time to say that the temple is the place to be. Within those sacred walls, we make covenants that teach us how to become more than we are now. Within those sacred walls, we tie ourselves to our families - for families are meant to be eternal. Within those sacred walls, we tie ourselves to our Heavenly Father. Everything about this Gospel, about our lives, about the Plan of Salvation so lovingly created for us, is focused on the temple. Because everything about the temple is focused on Jesus Christ and what He did for us.

There is an ultimate peace found within - and a wonderful peace found simply on the grounds. I invite all to go. If you need a little bit more peace in your life, if you can't enter into that sacred building, then at least walk on the grounds. That is open for everyone; it is meant for those seeking peace and comfort in their lives.

I love the temple so much! It's the best!

Happy Veteran's Day. :)

This is my Grandpa Root. He served in World War II. He had some pretty neat stories that he could tell. He, alongside many, many others, fought for the United States of America. He fought for freedom. He fought to help people keep the God-give agency that we have. 

The Book of Mormon tells us about a man named Captain Moroni. He was a God-fearing man. One who looked to God and sought His guidance. Captain Moroni was leader over the entire Nephite army - aka the good guys - and in response to the Lamanites - aka the bad guys - decision to gather up an army to try to destroy the liberty of the Nephites, he created what is called the Title of Liberty. One this flag that he raised, it stated, "In memory of our God, our religion, and freedom, and our peace, our wives, and our children." It is for this reason that he fought. He raised this standard everywhere he went. The image of it:

I don't see as very different from this one:

I am so very grateful for those who have fought, and still fight for our freedom. As much as people complain about how things are going here in the United States, we still have it much better than much of the world. And we owe much of it to the wonderful military men and women who risk their lives, give up comforts and basic self-needs to improve the quality of life for other people.

I am very grateful for their service. I am very grateful for the military. Happy Veteran's Day!

#TBT Shout out to my Mama Ferrell

When I was preparing for my mission, I faced a lot of obstacles - most of them were mental or ones that I ended up blowing out of proportion. Throughout the process of the decision to go on a mission, and all of the craziness I experiences and the craziness I became, there is one person who  Heavenly Father placed in my path to help me through it all. Her name: Sister Ferrell. Or, well, Kacee. But I'll just stick with Sister Ferrell. There was one occasion I was thinking about today that made a huge impact on me. The date was December 21,2012 to be exact. Back when I actually journaled. :)

I was faced with a difficult decision. I felt like the spirit was prompting me one way, but for the life of me I couldn't figure out why. It didn't make sense. It didn't make sense to the decision I had made to go on a mission, and the other choices I had previously made, that I thought I had made by the spirit. I came to the sister missionaries - they actually had asked me to come to a lesson, but the lesson fell through, so I took the opportunity to pick their brains and ask for advice. At that moment, I had begun to doubt every single decision I had made; I was filled with confusion and discouragement, and the prospect of serving a mission seemed distant, and near impossible. 

Sister Ferrell, in her wisdom, opened up her scriptures. And then proceeded to teach me, as any good missionary does in every opportunity. Then, she reminded me of the choices I had made based off of revelation. She reminded me that I HAD felt the spirit. And then she said, "You know," gently rebuking me for doubting. And then, to finish it all, she had us kneel down and we prayed. 

I walked home from the institute building filled with a great peace and calm, then confident in my choices. Because I remembered. It's a lesson I've been able to carry through. If you ever start doubting, or start feeling confused, remember those occasions where the spirit gave witness undeniably. Whether it's a decision to go on a mission, and it seems like the whole world is discouraging you. Remember what the spirit feels like - peace, happiness, calm, gentleness - and focus in on those moments where you have felt that. That's how you will know if it's revelation or not. Whether it's people trying to convince you that what you believe is false, you focus in on the reasons why you believe. For example, every time my testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, or my testimony of Joseph Smith has been challenged, I simply have gone back to what I have felt while reading the Book of Mormon. The Spirit has undeniably witnessed to me that it's true. So, I know. So, I don't have to fret about it. I don't have to worry myself sick. I don't have to doubt or become discouraged.

This experience, along with many others, taught me how much Heavenly Father loves us. He places the people we need in our path. Always. It is SO important for us to be aware of those around us. Because they may need us, and we may need them. It may require us opening ourselves up to them - something I struggle with. But, when I have done it, I've never regretted it. Because it's led to sacred experiences - like the ones I've shared with Sister Ferrell.

Hope they don't mind I snatched a pic off of Facebook. Sister Ferrell is the one on the left. :)

Maybe I'm just a little girl...

So, I've been a little bit obsessed with this song for the past 24 hours. Partially because I'm particularly missing one of my peeps from the mish (if you watch very carefully, you'll see her at 0:53, the one on the farthest right...) and also because I love what this song is about.

A lot of my STLs (sister training leaders) were brilliant, brilliant individuals, who were able to understand Gospel principles very clearly, and just saw the world...clearer than others. One of them talked about dreams. The dreams we have for ourselves. She said that all we need to achieve our dreams is someone to tell us that we can. When we have that faith and belief that we can do something, we CAN achieve what seems impossible.

I definitely believe that idea. And I feel like this song teaches that. The idea of just going out and doing things, because you believe it's possible, because you want to do it, because it's your dream is one that I love. Too often we are told we can't accomplish  our desires. Most of the time it doesn't come from anyone else but the adversary, sending negative thoughts into our minds. Our dreams should never end because of someone saying, "That's impossible," or "there is no way YOU can do that!" or "That is way too hard!" Dreams are made of special stuff. I believe they are made from inspiration. And where does inspiration come from? The Spirit, sending messages from God.

One of my most sacred experiences I had on my mission occurred while I was on my knees one night, seeking some counsel on a particular matter of my future. I tried to keep a small notebook by me when I did my evening prayers, and I found myself writing something down that night that I KNOW wasn't my own thought. It was a sentence that was completely inspired. I still remember that feeling. That thrill of the spirit, just overwhelming me. It was a very similar experience to when I made the official decision to serve a mission, and to when I opened my mission call and read that I was going to the Washington Tacoma Mission.

That sentence that I wrote down has now become my dream. Sometimes I think about it, and I'm like, "how in the world am I supposed to do that?!" or "This is going to be too hard." or "Is this even going to be effective?" But, then I just remind myself, this is inspired. And it's not going to happen right away. Dreams aren't achieved over night. And, just as Mindy Gledhill says, "And if I gotta take a break I will."

And, dreams don't just have to be something God tells us we are meant to do. If you have the dream to hike Everest, or to run a marathon, or to be a famous chef, or to be a teacher who inspires youth, or to learn some crazy hard new skill...GO DO IT!! "If that's what it takes to make me smile, I'm gonna walk a hundred miles." You have the capability to do, not just great things, but incredible things. Why? Because you have godly DNA inside of you.

So. Moral of the story. Go achieve your dreams. Make them alive. All it takes for a dream to be achievable is for someone to  tell you that it is, and that they believe in you. Well, guess what. Here is Beth Root telling you that she believes in you. Go give life to your dreams! I'm working on mine. :)

Glorious

I first want to start out explaining this blog. I've been home for 18 days. Since then, there has been a lot bouncing around in my head. Since then, I've felt a little lost. Since then, I've sought a way to bear my testimony in a way that is appropriate. My conclusion: I just need to start up a blog again. This blog will have the purpose of uplifting. I would encourage you to share it with your friends, who you know are in need of upliftment. Never hesitate to leave a comment, to share your thoughts, to share your own testimony. And just a disclaimer: I'll probably reference my mission a lot. Especially for the first little bit. Please understand. :)

***

There was this one time I went on a mission. It pretty much changed my life. I learned to see my life differently. I learned to see the lives of those around me differently. I began to see my purpose on Earth differently. I became very familiar with the scripture Romans 8:16-17, which says:

16 The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God:

17 And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.

In other words, we are the children of a loving Heavenly Father. Just like any good parent, He wants us to be able to have all that He has, become all that He is. He wants us to become and to have the best. For us, this means that we all have the capability to become like Him. Our purpose here on Earth is to literally learn to be like our Heavenly Father. In the end, if we follow the example of Jesus Christ, live His Gospel, and open our hearts to Him, we inherit what God has. Not HIS kingdom, but our own. Not HIS glory, but our own. This is what God intends for us. And it's glorious.

The testimony I have gained of my Savior and His grace is one that has helped me to become. My greatest desire is to reach my fullest potential - or to become  my fullest potential. And I have learned that this is what grace is for. It's not simply to save us, but to change us. As we turn to our Savior every day, we become more and more like Him and like our Heavenly Father. Which is all they want. Which is why God sent Jesus Christ. Which is why we are here. The best part? As we do this, as we become more and more like the persons we are meant to be, that we have the potential to be, God is glorified. Again, this is what God intends for us. And it's glorious!