Unpack Your Heart

My favorite types of love songs are songs that don't have to be love songs. "Unpack Your Heart" by Phillip Phillips is one of those songs. There is no indication that he is singing to a significant other, though it is pretty much anyone who listens to it will assume that it is meant to be a love song. The reason why I enjoy this song so much is because I believe the attitude of the lyrics apply to any one that you love - friend, family, significant other. The brilliance of Phillip Phillips' lyrics is in the idea that when you love someone, you accept all of them. You want that person to trust you enough to lay down everything in front of you: strengths, flaws, insecurities, confidences, talents, fears, everything. Because when we truly love someone, we simply accept them for who they are. That's not to say we do not enable them to sit in their fears and weaknesses, but, rather, that we do not judge them for them.

The very last part of the song is my absolute favorite:

Bring your honor, bring your shame
All your madness I will tame.
Won't you lay down, down your guard?
Share your silence
And unpack your heart.

Not only should we love someone enough to accept someone wholly, but we should love someone enough to be completely vulnerable with them, to lay down our guard. We should be willing to let go of the silence that we carry - we all have things that we keep to ourselves, burdens that we don't share with anyone else, trials we hold in. When we love, we should be trustworthy enough to receive those things, and we should be willing to share those things.

That's not to say we just share those things willy-nilly to everyone. We are allowed discretion, but when you love someone, you should be able to bear your whole soul before them. If you cannot do that, eventually, there are two things you should consider: Do you love them and trust them as much as you should/claim? Or are they someone you can and should trust with your inner most self. If you can't, you should still love them?

I've talked a lot about how my friendships are incredibly important to me. This is because when I came into full realization of my attraction to women, I became scared of my friendships. I became scared to love. Most of my closest friends were girls, and I was so scared of what that meant. I didn't actually trust myself. What if I feel in love with one of them? What if my actions towards them were unconsciously because I was attracted to them? What if I had ulterior motives to wanting to spend time with them? Hanging out, gift giving, buying food for, all the things that I normally did, what if the were perceived to mean something different that what I intended? What if I unconsciously was doing those things because I was attracted to them?

I was really confused, and, ultimately, pretty miserable. The conclusion that I came to: It doesn't matter.

"Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love." 1 John 4: 7-8

Brotherly love is just as important as any other kind of love, and so I came to the conclusion that I needed to be able to move past my fears and worries, and just open up my heart to love. Ever since then, I just try to love fully, completely, and unabashedly. I'll buy meals for my friends. I'll get random little gifts for my friends. I'll do whatever I can to hang out with them. I will bend over backwards to help a friend, if I am able to. Drive a few hours just to spend a little bit of time with someone. It's all worth it.

So, moral of the story? Unpack your heart, my friends. Find friends that you are willing to do so with, and be someone your friends can do the same with you.