Your Core Truths

Today, I was inspired by this song. I know...for any of you long-time readers, I tend to reuse Sara Bareilles songs, but, I mean, if a song is good, you can't deny it! But, I was thinking of this blog post, which I actually had no intention of adding a song to, and then I listened to "Brave" and it just felt right.

What I love about "Brave" is that it is all about being true to yourself and letting the whole world see it. You don't reserve your core truth for yourself when you're all alone; rather, it should be something you share with everyone who can see you. This can be hard to do, though. I think that sometimes, we ourselves, forget or lose sight of what our core truth is. We get distracted by a whole lot of other things.

I've been thinking about this because I've had people express to me that they feel like I am not being my true self, that I'm denying myself and who I am by choosing to recognize my attraction to girls, yet refusing to act on that attraction.  I understand their concern and I understand why they might feel that way. I mean, I'm all about being true to yourself! I want to be true to myself! But, I guess I see my identity as being so much more than my sexuality. It's one facet of who I am, and it by no means defines me. In fact, let's take a look at exactly what my attraction to women is: feelings. 

I like feelings. Feelings give us depth, can teach us, and connect us to people. But, feelings are not always meant to be acted upon. In fact, there's a scripture in the Book of Mormon that discusses this. Alma, when talking to one of his sons - and not his son who went about gallivanting with a harlot, which I think is pretty significant - says, "see that ye bridle all your passions," (Alma 37:12). Alma was teaching his son about feelings.

We all have feelings that we need to direct and control. That does not mean we have to get rid of our feelings. But, if we feel so angry that we want to ram our car into another individual, punch someone in the face, or yell uncontrollably, we should probably resist that temptation. If we are attracted to someone who is married, we probs shouldn't pursue that individual. If we become so hopeless or depressed, and our coping mechanism is to go to a bar and binge drink, we should probably not do that. Just because we have feelings or tendencies does not mean that we are meant to act on them. Instead, we are meant to bridle them. I feel so strongly about a lot of things, but that does not mean that I am going to go about passionately acting or expressing all of things. In fact, that is something that the kids I work with at the JCC are having to learn - they are feeling things, and those feelings aren't necessarily bad, but when they act on them, then it can be a bad thing.

In the heat of the moment, we can get caught up in what we are feeling and act in a way that actually is not in accordance to our core truth. If I were to act upon the homosexual feelings or impulses, I would be going against my core truths and identity. You see, I made covenants with my Heavenly Father, and so my core truths, which involve integrity, diligence, and faith, mean that rather than act upon those feelings, I choose to keep the covenants that I have made. Just like when I get angry while driving, I may want to say all the swear words towards the other drivers who try to change lanes into me, drive slowly in the left lane of the highway, or don't use their blinkers, but I don't, because I try to uphold my core truth of kindness and goodness.

I will never be offended when someone comes to me, questioning if my life choices actually are an expression who I am. I understand wanting to help someone let their brave out. We all need to be a little bit better at letting our brave out. But, just remember that our brave goes deeper than what you feel, but who you are. And who you are is so much more than just what you feel. It's your values, your identity, your visions.

So, my message to you is to let your brave out, whatever it is. If it's expressed in who you choose to be with, what you choose to study or what career you choose to pursue, what hobbies you pick up, or how you treat people, just do it. And just be true to who you are and to your core. Only you will know what that is, and if you actually are being true to you. No one else can determine that for you.  You will have distractions along the way, That's okay. Just learn to bridle in those distractions. Direct them to actually building you up.

And...just...be you. Unashamedly, unabashedly, apologetically, you.